Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
You have had a very harrowing experience where you lost not just financially, but spiritually. You were deceived, betrayed, used, and almost emotionally crushed by this man.
It is possible that he is a narcissist. The focus is on him. He operates like a con-man, with lies and deception. He wants admiration, sexual conquests, and control. Narcissists need what is called "narcissistic supply" much as a vampire needs blood.
Sometimes they will victimize a significant other in order to have control over them. You were very much in love with him, but he didn't even want to be seen in public with you.
Narcissists are sociopaths, meaning that they are not capable of feeling empathy for others. They cannot feel your pain or hurt in the same manner as a blind man cannot see in front of his face.
If you want to understand this kind of behavior, let me recommend a book for you that will give you the wisdom to never fall for a manipulator again.
I wish you great success in recovering from this and in making peace with your son who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You are fortunate to not have this man in your life and you will survive and thrive.
To that end I shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC