You said I need to figure out with him what I think the problems are vs what he thinks the problems are. I really already have the answer to this, namely that I believe the problems are immigration and communication related (specifically that we're in a tug of war because I want him to deal with this issue anld he avoids it) and he thinks that we need to work on our relationship before we work on the immigration problem. Specifically, he has told me that I should be more loving and supportive towards him, and he has also asked me to stop nagging and pushing him on the issue. I have been losing feelings for him lately over frustrations I have towards him, so he is probably right about this. So I wanted to know if there is a chance for me to revive that 'loving feeling' in this situation or whether the other stuff needs to be dealt with first, and is there any point really?
Yes, I do want to work on it. The thing is I get so frustrated with him not dealing with our other issues that I don't feel that I CAN be loving towards him. It seems like such basic common sense that we have to follow the law. By him not doing this and other irresponsible things he has done in the past, it makes me doubt whether I can tolerate this behaviour if he does not change. For example if he wants to stay in the States and wants me to go back there, he hasnt done enough to show me that he will follow the rules since he won't even do that right now. I am so frustrated that I can't even bring myself to want to laugh and have fun and be in love with him. How can I bring back my love for him?