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Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 300
Experience:  with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
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My best friend has been in a relationship for twenty years

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My best friend has been in a relationship for twenty years (not married but they have two children 12 & 16). He wants to leave his wife. He read her diary and she is having a fantasy relationship with her boss's husband. There isn't anything physical yet just torrid fantasies she spelled out in her diary. We are best friends and I am sure he wants a romantic relationship with me but I would never ruin our friendship. He wants to leave and I told him to wait until I run it past an expert. Is this a passing thing for his wife (she is 50) or has she fallen out of love? Should he leave or take a time out? Advice please. TIA
Hi there, welcome to Just Answer. I will try and help you with your question.

His partner sounds like she has fallen out of love, and or is looking for some excitement within their own relationship. I would advise they both talk this through and consider seeing some professional support together (or he could go alone to decide what it is he needs to do); something like this cannot be decided upon by someone who doesn't know them and hasn't had a chance to understand the circumstances within which they are still together and of course, there are children involved.

My professional opinion is to ensure he has discussed this and or sought some professional support for himself so that he knows, deep down that there wasn't anything more that he could've done to salvage the relationship. If after this period he feels there is nothing to salvage, then he would be free and confident about making the break - sometimes communication is what is needed and what could help their relationship get back on track.

Depending on where he is living, he can search for a counselor to discuss this with, if he wishes to take this route. I'm uncertain where he is based but if you are USA/Canada based, here are some links that could help your friend:

USA and Canada therapists website:

Another website where you can search for counselors:

I also wanted to reassure you, as you are also doing the right thing by giving him some space and not clouding things with further discussion of relationship with you, so good for you for standing by him as a friend and holding that boundary- he may need one in the foreseeable future, if he breaks up with his partner.

I do hope this is helping, please do come back to me for further assistance and support if you need it, I'd rather support you as much as possible and receive a positive rating and I'd be more than happy to continue supporting you until you feel satisfied.
If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service positively before you leave the site so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further. Your question will not close and I will continue to support your question. Bonuses are always appreciated.

Kindest Regards, Karin
Karin Samms and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Hi there,

Thank you for rating my service positively, it is very much appreciated.

Please do let me know if I can be of further help in the future, if you have new questions and would like to return to me, please open a new page and ask your question, please ensure you add "For Karin" at the start of your question and I will do my very best to help and support you.

Take care, my best wishes to you and I hope your friend can resolve this soon.


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