Hello! Clearly there was a previous conversation between the two of you where she told you that she doesn't want to be "forced" into saying "I Love You." I do understand your desire to say "I love you" before going to bed, but I think what's going on here, and we've discussed this before, is a power struggle. Sherry is trying very hard to establish herself and not be controlled in this relationship. Maybe it's just her character - maybe it's damage from a pervious relationship. Either way, and we've discussed this before too, I think your communication is muddled enough where there's absolutely NO room for sarcasm. If you want to do something for her or say something to her, you do it bc you want to, not bc you expect something back. My hunch is that if you take the element of expectations out of the equation, she will eventually reciprocate naturally.
Does that answer your question? :-)
It answers my question to some degree. Ok, moving on to a couple of other elements. She is in a controlling environment with her mother which I have touched on. We are both in our 40's yet we have to sneak around like little school children to date. I am growing very weary of that. (1). I buy to some degree what you are saying about the "I Love You". And hear me out, I'm not stereotyping or being sarcastic towards you. However, people from NJ are stereotyped as not being as friendly as people from the South. If you and I met on a street corner somewhere and I said "Good Morning" to you, and you said ANYTHING other than Good Morning as a reply, ie, Ok, K, Kiss My Ass, well then it is you with the problem not me...that is just the way I see it. (2) Sherry was going to join me when her son graduated school. He graduated on 5/17/2013. She hasn't made that move, because our relationship needs repairing. She doesn't make a lot of money ($20,000.00 per year as a teacher at a private school). But I don't understand why she wouldn't get out of her mother's house and her mother's control go get an apartment so that she is out from under her control and that allows the two of us more freedom if she isn't ready to move in with me yet? Financially she probably thinks she can't afford it. But I see other's making minimum wage who somehow or another are able to afford a roof over their head, lights on, food in the belly, gas in their car. How do they do it? Once you answer this I have one more thing to ask your opinion on.
Ok first of all I was using the "Good Morning" on a street corner as an example to "I Love You". The same thing applies, at least to me. If you tell me "Good Morning" and I say Go F yourself, then it is clearly me who has the problem. Same thing, if you tell me "I Love You" and I say yeah, so...then I am the one with the problem...at least to me. So...from your perspective here is what I am planning. Give me your opinion, and though I may not always agree totally with you, I do agree with you in a lot of areas and value your opinion. First of all I am done telling her "I Love You" She won't hear it or read it from me ever again, or at least for a damn long time. I wouldn't want her to feel pressured to say it back (even though that is the normal appropriate response) if she doesn't want to. Number 2. She is on a time line, she just doesn't know it. I will not continue to date her the way we have been dating, sneaking around like school kids. I also will not date her another 20 years. I need more than what she is giving right now. I feel I have broken far more in this relationship that she has, so.....for the next year I am going to try my best to fix me and the things I have broken in this relationship. If in one year I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and know I have done the best I humanly can...then a decision will have to be made. If she can't make it I will make it for her and say good-bye! I do love her, I don't want it to come to this, but I cant keep going like we are going either. So June of 2014 she either will be making plans of moving to the coast, or she can stay right where she is the rest of her life.