Kate - Thank you so much for your advice. I would rate it as a 5.
I forwarded our exchange to John but have not heard back from him yet. He may or may not respond.
I don't know if I can stay away from him for weeks because I am so depressed. I want to talk to him and have a conversation with no arguing or anger. So far that hasn't happened but I haven't given up hope. He does have a heart though he doesn't always show it.
I do agree that John can be very controlling. He is a brilliant man - very well read - but I do not think he is right about everything. John wants me to change, to listen better to things he tells me, but if I forget them, he thinks I never listened. That is his nature. I believe that part of his anger is that he thinks I ignored his advice. He may sound really awful from my description, but for the most part, he is a great person.
If he replies or we get to talk soon, I will let you know if I need more advice.
Thank you again.
You're welcome! Kate