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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1813
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I have poor relationships wth everyone. Do not trurh anyo

Customer Question

I have poor relationships wth everyone. Do not trurh anyone
Submitted: 12 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 12 months ago.

Deardebra : Thank you for your question.
Deardebra : Some times you have to let your protective guard down and let people in your life. It is some times hard to trust someone but you can not keep running because it will never get resolved.
Deardebra : you want to try and build relationships and not think about what might happen.
Deardebra : Every relationship you enter think about it as a new beginning and forget about past relationships.
Deardebra : look at each relationship as a chance to get to know someone so they can build trust with you.
Deardebra : you want to feel comfortable to let someone build that trust with you.
Deardebra : i am here for you if you want to tell me why you feel you have these trust issues. I feel we can solve this problem together.
Deardebra : I want you to try to give people a chance. You do not want to get hurt so you keep moving on but at some point you need to stop to really get to know someone.
Deardebra : there are good people that you can trust but you have to let them in your life to find them.
Customer:

I have already determined what you have said. My problem is how to go about it I have tried but the same

Customer:

I have already

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1813
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 12 months ago.
I am here to help you and I am hoping that you will re rate my service.
You want to be able to trust, but it is always a risk.You want to look at the people you can trust. You can most likely trust people if they have been regularly honest up to now. Some times people have reasons why they do not trust and it is because they have been hurt before.
Trust is what establishes all meaningful relationships. If we do not trust there is no creating relationships, risk taking. But it is hard to trust again is you have been hurt. In order to move forward you want to look at what has triggered these trust issues. Some times trust stems from childhood and some times it is from getting hurt by a relationship. If someone is unfaithful you might go into your next relationship not trusting, but as the person proves themselves over and over again then trust is built.
I want you to take a look at this web site as well. http://www.squidoo.com/learning-to-trust It explain trust and also gives you a few books that you might be interested in reading. It is a good idea to understand why you feel this way. Some times people block out the reasons why they feel a certain way. Some times things are to painful to face so people block these things out. You need to be able to trust again so you can fully share your life with someone. When it comes to meeting new people at first I want you to give them a chance. But you want to use your judgment because you know when you can and can not trust someone. I want you to think about trusting until someone proves that trust wrong. There are always going to be people and situations that do not work out, but you need to try to let all those past relationship go and move forward into relationship that you can trust. I want you to focus on those times in the day when you do have trust in others. When you go to the store and you buy something you trust the person will give you back the right amount of change, or when you place an order for lets say a sandwich you trust that the person is going to get it right. These are the little things that you trust in life, but you need to expand your thoughts into establishing long term meaningful relationships. You want to surround yourself with positive people ones that are happy for you when you achieve something. Even if it is something small. I find that if someone is trying to be kind and build you up that they are most likely the people you can trust. If there are people that constantly talk negative about others then you just never know if they are going to turn around and talk negative about you as well. There are people out there that are happy when other succeed but you are also going to find people that are jealous by others success. So you want to surround yourself with positive people that will build trust with you. Not trusting others is something you can change, but it might take time. I want you to start taking the risk of opening up. You want people to prove themselves too you and ones that will give you no reason not to trust them. Thank you again for your question.

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