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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Ok so my boyfriend wants me to send him a sexy photo of me.

Customer Question

Ok so my boyfriend wants me to send him a sexy photo of me. But I don't want to. He's trying to guilt trip me into sending one or saying sorry or something but I just don't think I should send him one at this early of a stage (we've only kissed once and been on one date). I know he cares about me, but I'm not sure what to do. I know I'm not going to send him a picture, and I've tried to tell him that it's not like he's never going to get one but he's still trying to make me feel guilty. I don't want to break up with him either because we really like each other, and I don't want us to break up over something like this, but I just don't know what to do. So my question is, what should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you.

You believe that you only have two choices which is:

-to go against your own wishes and feelings and send him a picture

OR

-breakup

If you give in to him now you will fall under his manipulative control and you will later regret it.

He seems to be more interested in your picture than in you.

You are right to be wary about this. He may be more interested in porno than in real women. This behavior puts him under suspicion.

You have another option and that is to tell him outright "NO ! "

He will respect you more if you show that you cannot be easily persuaded to go against your instincts just to please him.

If that is all he wants from you and will cause a breakup, then let him go and wait until you find a more mature person who is interested in making you feel good by treating you with respect.

If he cares about you he will not breakup with you for this silly reason.

If he does breakup, then he was not worth going with. Your self-respect is worth more than pleasing a little boy who doesn't treat you with respect.

You will be happier with yourself if you stick to your guns. If you lay down the law to him you will become much more in charge of the relationship.

I wish you great wisdom and courage in standing up for what you believe in. You will never regret it.

If I can be of further assistance on this question please don't hesitate to get back to me.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Kayla,

Thank you so much. Stay strong. May God bless you.

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No thank you. :)
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Kayla,

Sorry then. May you have wonderful luck, happiness, good health, and be treated well as you deserve to be. I am just wishing you well on your own terms. Not preaching. I just see that you are a good person and I am wishing you well. Forgive me if I offended you.

Best wishes,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Oh no sir! You haven't offended me at all! I just didn't think that you should be the one thanking me, considering you gave me the advice and that really, I should be thanking you. :) I wish you well too and thank you for your help!
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for letting me know. I like the name Kayla so much that it is the middle name of my daughter> :)

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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.