I live next door to a Phd, a physician, a heart surgeon, and a retired horse breeder. I have known the Phd for eight years, and the others for about 17 years. They are distinguished people and friendly, I did not have enough time and did not spend what I had of it to do things that would create a stronger friendship. In high school and college I was acceptable by the most popular people but was always too busy to do very many personal activities with these people outside of school. I had a well known former Mayor and Senator over to meet the Phd, (I did not know he was friends with Nobel Prize winners and his best friend was a knight - the Phd, a real knight like Sir. Elton John, but a philosopher. They went to the same church and I think they may have became closer friends with each other. I did not have enough contact, my own fault with the Senator and the Phd has grandkids and is helping them, they are well off. For some reason, I think the Phd wife is good at this, he was a former teacher and they had other businesses, she became very busy with her family and as time went on, we all exchanged gifts, she started giving gifts to the neighbors which, first she favored one neighbor, the next time, she favored two of them and not me. Just something small like the color, but it made you think. I thought it was not necessary after so many years, but I know that one of the neighbors started keeping their dog inside and another made noise when mowing the lawn, after that so I want to know what to do. I asked one of them who said, please call them, and have not said anything to the other ones yet. They are also busy so hard to tell what is going on. I know that even if I'm not as distinguished as these people that I always fit in with the best people, and could have been friends had I wanted to. Maybe there were some who were so popular it was a little out of reach for me but I was in the same class. The Phd said we are friends. Would they say that then wait for me to get the message that we aren't? Would his wife try to do that and they know there are better friends, I'm afraid they are competetive and like to keep people in their good graces by drawing attention to a lesser person if necessary or keeping some people on their toes and not others, how nasty does it have to get? How to deal with it when they said they are friends? Accept that? The others could draw them away from us too, I think we are all beyond that and the few of us who are should get along...more relaxed like, or will someone always take the advantage? How can I convey we should all be friends, if the more distinguished wants to compete? Or has already? If it's not clear to me, maybe it has happened with some people, and if the dog is being kept inside and it seems to make a point, what should I do? Ask them about it? How do I win? Is it too late, and I think if it's left alone they won't be friends any more, it's so easy to have someone come between people, how to deal with that? We're all older too, not as much time for activities. How to not let someone make you feel bad and do some people do that and act that way all the time? Also, this is so important: If I call and leave a message that says, we may not talk that often, but will see you around and call if anything happens or you need something, I can't remember if I said I would call them if anything, even if I did not ask for a call back, wouldn't you call the person and leave a message or talk to them, quite soon, and say yes, we'll see you and call if you need anything like we have...if there is no call, isn't that a little different from usual, and means you are not "in" with them, then of course after time it will be a small problem and then they have an excuse not to call or to fear you even for some timid people...what to do? Call again and say feel free to call, ask what it is, etc.?
They only live two houses away and we know one of their relatives.