How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question

Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1356
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

MY wife (of 7 years) has made her decision that she is no longer

Resolved Question:

MY wife (of 7 years) has made her decision that she is no longer in love with me and wants to be alone (not dating anyone) and move on with her life. She said that due to work and kids, we never really had a romantic relationship. We fought about it each year and would work on it, but then we would always go back to the same routine. She said that she has finally realized that she has just been living with her best friend and after her grandmother past away recently she realized life is too short. She told me that live would never change from the way it is now and she wants more. I told her how much I love her and how much we could change things (spice it up) but she said it was too late. She has already found an apartment for her and our 5 yr old and 11 yr old girls. She wants me to stay in their lives as much as possible but when asked, said there is no possibility for us in the future because she would not put them through this again. I am hoping that she comes back. I am working on bettering my life right now. She keeps saying she wants to be alone. She swears it does not involve another guy right now and I believe her. How do I get over her and move on with my life, or Is there a way to win her back?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
Hello. I think that giving this entire situation some time will determine if you both can eventually get back together or not. What your wife is going through is actually quite common. I would give her the opportunity to settle into her new routine and to think about her own future. While you shouldn't sit and dwell on waiting for her every day, you should try your best just to live your life and get through each day at a time for now. You want to move on, but not in the way that you should forget this relationship. You obviously are going to be a father to your daughters and will be involved in their lives and they are the ones you need to concentrate on right now. Make sure they are happy and are doing ok with everything. Concentrate on them and their future to help you with your own. You may be able to win your wife back, you may not. Time is going to be the only thing that answers that. Right now, everything is still new and raw emotions are speaking. Try to just give her the space she wants and heal yourself from all of this before the next steps will make themselves clear. You can't expect yourself to know what to do next at this time. Let the dust settle for awhile and then see how both of you feel about the situation.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for the info. I know you are correct....it just really hurts right now. I am working out vigorously right now and getting back into shape. We have already worked out a visitation plan for the girls. I know they are unhappy with both of us right now. I know you are right.....there is no answer for winning her back. I have been told to just stay away from her other than communication about the girls. I just pray that one day she comes back.

Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
You need to concentrate on your life and being the best person you can for you and your daughters and no one else. Everything else will fall into place. Working out is good, getting in shape is great, make sure everything you are doing is for you and your kids and not specifically with the idea that you are going to get her back. All you can control is you. You will feel better as a person and it will help you heal. That's all you can really do. I know everything is painful right now, every day will get a little better. I know that's a cliche. But try and look at the positives. You have 2 wonderful kids to raise and their whole life ahead of them.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your advice. I will definitely work on myself and my relationship with my girls. I get to see them twice a week and every other weekend. One last question. What do you think about her signing a lease on an apartment? I would think that her moving in with her family or friends would be one thing....but signing a year long contract...that is totally different.

Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 1 year ago.
Family and friends tend to have a major influence on a person's life. I think it's best for her to be on her own. A lot of women grow up being dependent on people from family to boyfriends to husbands and being able to live on their own tends to be a little more real if that makes sense. Her family would feed her feelings about you, probably in a negative way.. Not to say that they think negatively of you at all, they may have thought you were the greatest person ever, BUT because she left you, things can change and she could be put in a situation where she is surrounded by people who mean well in their support, but could end up just keeping her in a bad place.
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1356
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Paige and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency