The thing is she knows how much I care about her and that I love her but yet she still doesn't want to get back together. I believe she has even told people that she does not do redo's or second chances but she has done it in the past with other relationships. Why not give me a chance. If she truly wanted to be friends, why not offer to hang out or interact more with me in person. She will intereract with others at our work and joke around, but rarely will she do it with me. Its almost like she intentionally does this. Outside of work if we are at group gatherings, she would act like she doesn't see me or I don't exist. But she will look at me when she knows im not looking. Why be like that if she still loves and cares for me. It makes it hard to try and be friends because it seems she wasn't really serious about it. Maybe she is trying to prove to herself and others that she is over me. But all the things mentioned before about her actions suggest otherwise.
Thanks for your answer. So do you think that my ex ignoring me out in public or around other coworkers is a facade. Also the fact that she would interact with others but not show interest in me and whats going on in my life is a way to get a reaction out of me?
So what would be a good way to get her to open up to me without putting myself out there. She acts too hot and cold and sometimes i feel like she is really over me and then sometimes i feel therr os something there for me. But like i said i don't think she will really show me anything until her current situation is over. Ive put myself out there too much already.
Thanks again for the advice. One more thing i wanted to ask. My ex when she cut things off with me told me she saw no future with me but still wanted to be friends. Now after all the signs and things ive wriyten so far, if she is already planninga future without me knowing i still love her and she loves me, could she still maybe want more later or is she pretty much made her mind yp that we are not getting back together. It doesnt make since to hold on to me. Especially if she still has things from our relationship like pictures and other belonginhs she hasnt given back.
Your definately are right on her wanting to get married. Thing is she didnt realize she was trying to rush things with me and her. i felt it because she would throw hints at rings and stuff of that nature. But i was still a good man to her and she doesnt see that. The thing is she doesnt accept any responsibility for things falling apart. The fact that she doesnt want to be together but still want to hold on to me doesnt make any since. Especially if she doesnt see a future. You really think she would have me on the backburner just to see if ill change.
So if she still loves me why act so cold and distant towards me. Why even get involved with someone else and try to get a reaction out of me. It seems like either she wants to but is stuck in her current situation and wants to save face, or she just wants to be in control of the relationship. She knew I wanted to get back together and I even brought up talks about marriage but that would be something that comes with time and happens naturally on its own. I also think she wants to get back at me for breaking things off the first time, even though it was only something temporary for me to decide if this women was the one for me because I felt we were moving too fast. Also, is there any significance in my ex still being friendly with my mother even after we split. I feel that if we are broken up then we shouldn't keep in touch with those close to our exs. She still contacts my mom on facebook whether its liking post or pictures of her and wishing her happy birthday. Just don't make any since.
Thanks again. I don't think she has had conversations with my mom since we have been broken up but that minimal contact on facebook is all I see unless my mom just hasn't told me. I don't see why my ex just hasn't tried reaching out to my mom by phone because I know if she has my number still, then she probably has my moms as well. I think that my ex follows and listens to what her friends tell her too much and they aren't even on the maturity level as her. My ex is older than her friends and I think if she were to talk to my mom she would get an older womens view on things, which she needs. My ex also tries to get reactions out of me doing things like posting how good her life is now and all the food she cooks with her new boyfriend, just petty stuff. I know she is trying to get a reaction because she knows me and her are still friends on facebook and that I would see the post. If she is the one that finally cut things off between us then why go through the trouble of trying to get a reaction out of me or make me jealous. Only thing is I have thought about sitting her down and talking to her but I don't think she would admit to how she really feels. She is stuck in the mindset that I was at fault and that she wasn't wrong and that she doesn't do second chances. This woman has too much pride.
I appreciate all your advice and input you have been giving. The thing with the second chance, its hard to convince someone like my ex who is stubborn at times and full of pride. But I think if she talks to someone older then yea it would make a difference. As much as I look at all the signs which looks positive, I still have my doubts. Sometimes I feel like my ex's offer of friendship afterward was just an option and that she really doesn't care to e friends. Even if she has contacted me on and off, the way she acts towards me as far as acting like I don't exist or being cold at times makes me second guess how she truly feels. We haven't even hung out since she cut things off. But I do think about the fact that she hasn't returned some of the things I let her borrow including the only picture she has of me. If she was truly done then why not give that back. Especially after I told her to give it back if she no longer wanted it. It trips me out that she feels comfortable writing on my moms wall and liking her statuses but won't do the same for me even if we are friends on facebook. I know I may e reading too much into things but these things have been rolling through my mind. If you could give me one more input on all of this I would really appreciate it.
Thank you very much for all your input. You definitely have opened my eyes on a lot of things. I hope things play out well and that my ex isn't just doing all of this to get back at me. I really just cant see her moving on so quick and being over me like that because we both shared a love that was very strong and it was mutual. Now she seems like a complete different person like we shared nothing.
Ok i see what your talking about. So even she is telling her friends about how great she is doing with her new boyfriend it doesnt nececarilly mean she feels that way. I just hate the fact that she doesnt acknowledge my precense at work sometimes when we are in a group with others talking.
I know from all the other questions you gave me positive feedback. But do you think that maybe my ex might just see me as a friend now and not boyfriend material. I heard somewhere that if your ex wants to still be friends after a breakup, either they never were really in love or they still are in love with you. I know for a fact my ex was in love with me but her seeing someone else just gets to me. She just chose to buryall her feelings for me.
So would you say that even though she really doesn't contact me that often? I feel sometimes that even though she says we should be friends it doesn't seem like she puts too much effort in maintaining that friendship. Yea I've told you about the on and off contact, but she hasn't even made an effort to see me outside of work. I know she has a boyfriend but if it isn't anything serious or longterm then why not keep in touch more often. Its crazy saying all this but it seems her offer of friendship really didn't matter if I agreed or not. Almost as if it was a way to let me down lightly. Also, the thing with not giving back my stuff, it may be that she just forgot about those things. I really don't know.
Wow you really have some good insight on everything I've told you so far. A lot of the things I've said, other people have said the same thing but its hard for me to really get my hopes up because I don't know 100% for sure. I would like to just come out and ask her how she truly feels but I feel she would not be honest. Plus I've put myself out there too much already about how I feel. The thing is I don't know really how she feels about the person she is currently with. She will post on facebook a lot of times about the food she in the guy cook together and how good she is doing, knowing that me and her are friends on facebook and I will see it. It just makes me question how serious she feels about the guy or if it is just a front to make me jealous and make me feel I lost something good. I think she still wants me to pursue her instead of her trying to make moves towards me, but I haven't given in to her mind games and given her a reaction to what she is doing so hopefully she will see that it is not working. One of the main reason I still have my doubts is because she is making plans to go back to school and she doesn't seem to factor me into her future plans, but the place she is talking about going to school is in my home state and where my mom is at. It could mean nothing but the fact that she still is cool with my mother on facebook makes me wonder about her motives. I asked my mom if my ex has talked to her in a while and she said no but my ex does like post, pictures my mom puts up and I told you she even wrote on my moms wall wishing her happy birthday. Its a cowardly way of staying connected to her but it does show some attachment is still there. Or she could just be friendly and it means nothing at all but I don't know of anybody that stays in touch with their ex's parents.
DearDebra you have been nothing but good help to me these past weeks of me asking you questions. I know I've been asking a lot but im just not ready to give up on this girl. As much as my friends say I should move on, I could if I wanted to and find someone else but I really don't want to yet. As long as I get the sense that there is something there between me and her I won't give up but at the same time I won't wait forever. This will be my last question to you. With everything I put out, do you honestly believe this women still loves me and would ever come around and give in to her heart. With her acting cold and distant anyone would believe that yea she is done with that fool but it seems like she is trying too hard. Also, someone who is over someone wouldn't keep in touch. I really can't be just friends with her the rest of my life and I don't know how serious she is about it unless she is afraid that the closer we get as friends then she will start to fall for me again. Idk, but her even calling me out the blue not too long ago asking if she could use my flashcards to study for this board was real surprising. She could have easily found the study material from anyone else but she decided to call me when she didn't have to. I guess she did it under the guise of friendship and she was very warm and friendly almost like she felt good talking to me. But after that day she went back to her cold silent routine of me not existing. Im like come on if your going to be one way, be that way. Anyway I definitely would appreciate your input.
Thanks again. I have already put it out there to her not too long after she cut things off that I wasn't bitter and that I wish her well in whatever she does in life and that if she ever wanted to talk or wanted my help with something don't feel weird or indifferent to ask or call. But for whatever reason she really doesn't feel the need to as much, like I said the contact is on and off but she does initiate a lot of it and she finds ways to show her interest indirectly like on facebook where one of my friends would post a picture of a group of us out or a video with me tagged in it and she will like the post but say if I were to post it up she most likely wouldn't like or comment. Same thing with the contact with my mom. I know that the relationship my ex is in isn't going to last so if the love is still there why not give that rebound or whatever up instead of risking me truly moving on and never making things right. I know I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering what if.
So even if she is already planning on pursuing school which she hasn't mentioned me in her plans could that be looked at as a negative though. I mentioned before that the school she is looking at is in my home state and also where my mother lives. My ex has a sister that goes to school out there as well so I could be reading too much into it but she has mentioned that around me and to others. Idk if she is trying to peak my interest or what.
That is a very strong possibility or it could be a sign she is really trying to move on and maybe go there with the new guy. I know that is negative thinking but I like to be realistic of the possibilities. But if you add all the other signs with that it really does make since for her to try and do that. But I don't know for sure if she is doing it for the new guy she is with, for me or herself.
Well what if the guy she is with was going to be moving to my state. My ex may be trying to follow this guy but at the same time I agree that she couldn't be serious about this guy. This leads me to my next question, based on everything do you believe that this relationship my ex is in is anything serious to worry about or just a rebound. I know it may be hard to say since you don't know the people involved but I can see and know for a fact that the guy she is with isn't really someone she would go for or even is compatible. Also, there is no telling what my ex told her friends and family about why we broke up but im sure she didn't tell the whole truth. Which brings me to this, if she says she sees no future with me or that we weren't getting back together, why even bother staying in contact and offer to be friends. Either we are together or not. The mixed signals are ridiculous. For someone who doesn't do second chances or redoes, although she has in the past with others, she cant give me this one chance all because she is in a rush to get married. I know I've been asking you a lot but your knowledge on this situation has really opened my eyes on a lot of things.
Thanks again for your answer. I think ill consider giving that a try. I wish it didnt have to come to me putting myself out there again. I dont see why she doesnt realize all the good me and her had and why she feels she has to rush and get married. Its like she feels that if i marry her then i wont walk away or leave. Very insecure but her past relationships have done that to her i guess. I was hoping that maybe she would realize after spending enough time with the guy that she still loves me but i dont know if that will happen. Also, if she doesnt care for the guy like she does for me, why not end it and make things right with me. Smh
Thank you again. i think im just going to go ahead and put myself out there. Only thing i fear is that everything you told me might be the other way around. i do believe and understand what you have said but i wouldhate to be let down if she really doesnt feel anything for me anymore. The only way i see her coming around on her own is if she breaks up with her current boyfriend. But i just dont see her coming around on her own. Also her changing the things in her life could be an attempt to impress me but i dont know if it has to do with the guy she is with.
Hey thank you again for the answer. I was thinking about doing something to test my ex and I wanted your input. Remember when I told you how my ex still has things of mine that I let her borrow while we were still close, and Im going to just flat out ask for them back along with the picture she never returned as well. I don't know if the reason for her not returning them back is because she wants to keep them because they remind her of me or if she just forgot about it. It could also be that she doesn't really care for them and is just using some of my things until I ask for them back lol. But my thinking is if she doesn't want to let go of me in hopes of getting back together, this will mess with her ego in a since. I've come to accept that in a way my ex might be stringing me along and I want to take back that control or power she feels she still has, along with that security net she feels she has because im sure she feels that she could get back with me whenever she wants but I would never make things that easy for her. I want to give her the impression that im truly moving on and that being friends is out of the question. If whoever she is with is not serious and is a temporary thing, I want her to feel like she is losing me and has nowhere to turn whenever her rebound or whatever goes to shit. What is your take on this from your experience and have you seen similar situations. Also, do you think it might backfire because if she feels that im completely moving on, she might just settle and make due with who she is with. Like I said I don't know if she is serious with this guy but I can tell that they are no way compatible. She might think things are good and they get along now but wait until things starts dying down and she see who he really is.
I think my ex's perception of me has changed since i agreed to be friends with her. Even though she shows signs of interest here and there, i think all her romantic feelings are gone and now i have to accept that. Its crazy because i know i was probably one of the best men she ever dated and now im starting to think she is comfortable with the way things are with the new guy that she wouldnt care if she lost me.
Right. i just found out that she is not trying to go to the same place as the guy she is with but is considering another placeto go to school. At the same time she is still undecided about whethet she ia going to stay another year or not. Regardless she is still planning a future without me in it as far as i can tell. I dont think she was trying to impress me with her changes.
Thanks again. Soorry if some of my replies seem repetitie. Now with all this, it seems like she is moving on or has moved on. Maybe i looked too much into things. I know it seems like im second guessing myself but i wish i knew for sure before i approach her.
Today at work my ex has been acting really funny. She has been doing a lot of joking and teasing with me but ahe would then back off. I think me not contacting her really and ahowing her too much interest is cauaing her to act this way. Idk if she is confused or she is juat playing games with me but i know a connection is still there. She would later while we were in a group talk about her cooking dinner tonight but didnt bring up the person she was seeing. Also she keeps bringing up her going to school and houses she is lookimg at close by it. Imstarting to feel i should just move on because even if she isnt looking to be with the person she is with, she probably doesnt want to ever get back together. but it it seems like she doeant want to fully let go. Do you think that my ex really just sees me as a friend now or she is still holding out. The fact that she hasnt offered to give my stuff back is the only reason i see she still cant let go and her trying to be friendly or nice with my mother on facebook. But at the same time she could just be being nice and cordial and doesnt feel the way i think she does.
Yea she has done stuff like that before. I told you about how she tried to hide some candy I had left out when I walked out the office for a second. She tried to play like she didn't have it but I know she does things like this when we were in a relationship like hiding my cigarettes and other things. She would then try to ask for a piece of candy and laugh when I tried to stop her but she ended up taking one anyway. The next day I went to my locker and found a brand new pack of the same candy in my locker. She had went to the store and and saw it I guess and picked it up for me. When I told her she didn't have to get it she played it off and said I know and walked away. I didn't want to read too much into because I thought she was just being friendly but I couldn't help but think there was something ehind it. Ex's don't go out their way to do little gestures like this for no reason. I guess she heard from a friend that I told them that she was trying to flirt with me and my ex told me when it was just me and her that just because I bought you candy doesn't mean im trying to flirt with you. I played dumb and said what are you talking about. Then she said nevermind, disregard that. It wasn't the fact that she bought me candy but how she was playing around the other day that got me thinking she was flirting. Even some of my other coworkers noticed the way she was acting and said she was flirting with me and that she wants you back but she denied it to me though. She kinda of stopped that playful behavior after that until yesterday when I told you how she was joking around and even hitting me on the sides of my ear and when I reached to hit her back she pulled away. Almost like she didn't want people thinking anything between me and her.
Her buying me candy happened a couple months back. between then and now she has been off and on.yesterday was when she started joking and teasing me out of the blue because she needed me to help her and some other coworkers out with something. I dont know if she was trying tobe friendly or if any of that meant anything but the fact that she is still planning her future without me in it bothers me. I feel like she really is moving on.
You know you are right about us having a good connection.The times we do interact i always feel it but at the same time i feel she isnt interested in getting back together. But you never know. It does seem like all the times she has contacted post breakup she had an excuse whether it was wishing me happy birthday or good luck on an exam or congrats on a promotion or an award. her reaching out to my mother on her birthday could be thrown in there. But she hasnever just hit me up just to talk or see how i am doing or show any interest in what ive been up to. Dont understand it. It just makes me think that things are going really well with her boyfriend but like i said i just dont know.
Also I don't want my ex to get comfortable and see me as just a friend now.
So do you honestly think that love is there from her side. Its so hard to tell with this girl. She obviously is stringing me along which isn't good but I want to shake her comfort seeing me as a backup. Idk if she has even thought or consideted getting back together and if she even misses me. I think sometimes that she must be happy with the guy she is with.
You know sometimes i think that all my ex is doing is playing games and that she really is just taking advantage of the situation. Its a lot of positive signs but i still have my doubts about everything. Especially approaching her to talk about things.
Idk, I really feel she just wants to be friends and will never want to get back together. She doesn't take any interest in whats going on with me and my life. I always get optimistic about the way things are but then I feel she really isn't interested in me. But why spend any effort in being nice or wanting to stay friends. She has enough friends as it is. I'm starting to come to terms that she really is over our relationship.
When I said that she doesn't take an interest in my life I meant that she has never just came up to me and asked how are you doing or what have you been up to. If you are talking about the times she has reached out to me to congratulate me or wish me happy birthday then there is some interest there but idk how much. I wish she would just take a chance on me and talk about how she truly feels. Also, those gestures of her's do you think that's just her being nice and cordial or does she really care.
Thank you for your answer. The thing is she knows how I feel about her and that I love her. I told her her I love her ebough to let her go and that I want her to be happy whether it was with me or someone else. This was after she cut things off. I just feel that her mindset is that she can do better for whatever reason. She has a history of going from one relationship to another only thing is she doesn't stay in touch with any of her other ex's except me. I don't know if it has to do with us working together but if she would still wish my mom happy birthday then she obviously likes my mom still but won't make make direct contact such as a phone call or even just sms chatting with her. Also, you don't think my ex just sees me as a platonic friend now and not romantically.
So do you think she will ever come around or am i waisting my time. I only think she will if someone actually talked to her and pointed out her faults. I dont see her just leaving that relationship and coming to make things right with me. But if she still has love and truly does still want me,why not.
So you don't think her doing all these things is her just trying to move on with her life. I still have a hard time thinking her motives for going back to school and improving herself has anything to do with me. Especially since she cut things off with me.
In my eyes it came across to me that she was trying to show me what I missed out on. I would never have thought I had anything to do with her future plans or motives.
You think if it came from some else outside of me and her it would make a difference. Especially someone older.It dont make sensw to hold on to someone if they see no future.Especially if they are giving mixed signals.
Mmm. How do you think she would respond if i called her out on the game she is playing.
You think she would ever come around on her own or am i just waisting my time. I only see that happening if she ends up breaking up with with her boyfriend but i dont see her ending it on her own
Now my ex has a history for going from one relationship to another when things dont work. Only thing is im the only ex she has still kept ties with. You think she will stillgo ahead and move on whether she leaves or stays into something new with someone else or she may try to make things right with me.
So do you think i should stop waiting for her to come around or do you believe she will in time. My thinking is once i truly move on then thats when she will come around.
Yea thats what im thinking. She said we werent getting back togethet but i cant help but think she may secretly want to get back together. She says things but her actions speak differently.
I wish i knew for sure. Its hard to tell with this girl. But im willing to let the past be the past. If she does want to get back together,she should realize how much damage she has done with our relationship.
I wish i knew for sure. Its hard to tell with this girl. But im willing to let the past be the past. If she does want to get back together,she should realize how much damage she has done with our relationship. From a womens perspective, do you think that all the mixed signals from her are just a game and maybe its just a way to mess with my head. It might be a way for her to just get attention and she just needs the ego boost or it could be a way to get me to make a move towards her because she fears that I might reject her back like you said.
Thank you for your answer. I've asked you a billion questions and I really appreciate all the time and advice you have been giving. It has opened my eyes on a lot of things. Especially since a lot of your input has been said by some of my friends and even some of my coworkers. I feel that everything will work out in one way or another. I just hope that she doesn't wait too long because I may get snatched up just like that and be off the market lol. But either way I know ill be happy regardless of what happens. Thanks again for all your help and I will keep you posted on future happenings.
One thing i forgot to ask is if my ex was theone to finally cut things off with me, why do you still think she is trying to impress me with these changes. You dont think she changed or is just doing all these things for the new person. Or, making changes for someone else in the future.
I believe that too only thing is im starting to feel like maybe she really is giving up on me. The whole ignoring me and acting like I don't exist makes me feel the love or feelings are gone. It seems to me like she is going to stand firm to her decision and never look back. I mean she said that she doesn't break up to make up but she has in the past so why not try with me. I believe im someone who is worth another chance and she was madly in love with me at one time and I made her happy. Happier than what I see from her now.
Ok I will try that out. Its funny, I'm pretty cool with most of all her friends still and they still interact with me. They know that I am a good man and was good to her and at one point were trying to talk to her about us getting back together. Of course that didn't work but im still on good terms with them. I wonder if my ex is bothered by that because one of her friends that works with us jokes around with me and interacts. She has even hung out at couple cookouts that me and some of my fellow coworkers threw. But my ex was never apart of it and she doesn't even hang with her friends as much now because of the guy she is dating. Her friends still don't know who it is and is keeping it a secret. Probably because she knows whoever it is not someone her friends would approve of and she is scared of being judged. But I know she can't be planning nothing with the guy she just didn't want to be alone. But I feel she is just still ready to move on to someone else after that is over.
You know i was told almost the same thing from a couple others. I also just found a bit of news too. My exe's relationship is coming to an end pretty soon. I was told thos from one of her friends who let it slip but me and her cool. It just shows me that all of this was a way to help her move on but it was a dishonest attempt. I wonder if she will make any moves back towards meor change her attitude towards me onceits all said and done.
Well whenever her thing does end she would have to stop playing games. I would also have to find out everything she was doing while we were apart and she would have to be completely honest. But i still dont think she would still want to get back together because she may feel that our relationship is beyond repare.
The reason its not going to work is because the guy she is with is going to be leaving and also it is a person that works with us that has some rank on him which is by all means not acceptable in our line of work. I will say that we are in the military. The reason she wants to keep it under wraps is because she doesn't want to get in trouble. The guy she is with is going to be stationed somewhere else. When I was telling you about her trying to go to school, I think it was a way for her to get out the military so that she would not be around if she was to be found out. That would be a demoralizing and embarrassing situation to be in fraternizing. Especially with someone who is not compatible or someone she would consider dating at all.The whole time though she knew that situation would not work out and she still is going along with it until he leaves. The thing is people know who it is and have even brought it up too my ex but her pride and ego is going to keep her from admitting she was wrong. At the same time she is holding on to our relationship in a since. If I throw that into the mix, do you still think that her motives are based on still wanting to get back together. I think she knows that I know who it is and her behavior towards me is because of that. She is still undecided on whether she is going to stay in or not but most likely she is going to stay in the military. I feel that she only wnts to be friends because she doesn't want me saying anything about what she is doing and that she really could care less about me.
That may happen but at the same time I think her pride would get in the way of that. She doesn't want to be looked at as being wrong and also she would be worried about what others think. She probably might think that she did too much damage to ever make things right with me so she will move on to someone else. I'm not sure if she would comeback or even talk to me about what really went down.
I understand that you feel we have a connection but when you rarely ever talk to someone it is hard to say whether the feelings are still there. My ex just recently deleted me off of her facebook. Along with my mother. I think now she is really trying to move on. Or it could be an attempt to keep me from knowing whats going on in her personal life as far as the person she is dating because she knows she could get in trouble and be judged if it ever got out. But the thing is, some of her friends know who the person is and it has been putting a strain on their friendship because my ex has been lying and trying to coverup her tracks. But her deleting me and my mother just makes me feel she really doesn't want anything to do with me. Almost like she is burning bridges. But it doesn't make since to nafter all this time delete me unless there is another reason. Maybe she thinks I know for sure who it is and doesn't want to be connected to me with that going on. Smh, don't know what to make of it. Besides, why bother being friendly with my mom after all this time and now delete her and me.
When I get a chance, ill ask her how she has been doing. But at the same time I feel like calling her out on deleting me and my mother. Its like she is burning bridges to the past because she probably feels she can't go back and make things right after everything is set and done.
Thank you for your answer. I was about to ask her today while she was standing watch which is military terminology, but one of her friends was with her and I didn't want to talk to her while her friend was around. Her friend knows about the situation but chooses to ignore it which makes me question her as a true friend because she seems to look the other way knowing that my ex could get in trouble if it ever got out but she is leaving soon so I guess she doesn't really care or bother to say anything. Also, you don't think that my ex deleting me could be because she knows I know who it is and maybe thinks im going to say something or have been saying things about it that would get around about her. She could also see the fact that me and her don't talk really anymore so there is no point in staying friends on facebook. I think her friend said something to her which probably made her mad at me and decided to delete me. But it just doesn't make any since especially if she was holding on to me and now feels like there is no point. I think the feelings are gone.
I feel she is cutting off people she feels knows bout her situation or is a threat to her getting caught. At one time she may have been holding on to our relationship but now I think she could care less. Her whole reason for thinking about getting out could be to get away from this situation and the people that know about it. I don't think she will ever regret doing what she is doing because if she did, she would have ended it all a long time ago. In her mind, she is justified in her decision for doing what she is doing. She may never attempt to make things right with me and I don't know if me talking to her will make a difference. But I do need to get the rest of my things that she has been holding on to and she still hasn't made any moves to do so. She probably could care less.
Thanks Debra. But maybe this is a lost cause. I think my ex probably had moved on a long time ago from our relationship. Most likely she fell out of love. I don't think she even cares about me or what im up to, or whether im doing fine. I don't see her ever looking back and regretting not giving things another shot. Maybe I just need to let it all go. Her deleting me and my mother off facebook just shows me that she doesn't want me in her life and again shows that she sees no future between us. I don't think she would even want to be cool with me after her relationship or whatever you want to call it ends. I think in her eyes im the enemy because she thinks im the one spreading the fact about the person she is dating.
Thats understandable. But she could of blocked me instead of cutting things off completely. I think she is mad at me because she heard i was saying things about the person she is seeing and and probably hates me now. I dont think me talking to her will matter because she thinks im a threat to her relationship. Also ifound out the guy she is staying with thinks that i said something so there is no telling what he has been telling my ex. Like i said my ex probably would never want anything to do with me now.
Thank you. At this point I think there has been so much damage done between me and her that she would never want anything to do with me. Do you think she will be more open once the guy she is with is gone. I feel she won't ever believe me if I told her I had nothing to do with the word getting out about her relationship. I don't understand why she would delete me and my mother off her facebook but still keep my circle of friends on there as well. She has to know that they know so why keep them on there as well. Also, she still hasnt made any moves to give my things back. If she was cutting me out then why not give those things back.
Thank you for your answer. I can see that being the case but what do you think of the case where an ex is lying about the reasons behind us breaking up and saying things that imply im obsessed with her and I cant let her go. I can say that I still do love her even after all the lies and things she has done but I don't think im obsessed with her. I can function on my own single unlike her. She has told her friends many lies about me and makes them question how I am as a person but ive always been aout her. It also makes me question whether I should truly move on or if she is doing all this because of the situation she is in now. It seems like she wants people to believe that im the bad guy and I was at fault.and make herself look good.
So ill ask you this, do you believe my ex truly feels the way she says to her friends or whoever. Like i said she may truly be over me but she has lied a lot about things and her actions in the past showed otherwise. At one point i felt her only reason for wanting to be on good terms was to keep me cool so there were no problems between me and her at work. i dont know if she truly cared to still be a part of my life or want to be a part of hers.
Its at the point now where one of my exs good friends looks at me different now. I believe my ex has been telling her things that make me look bad like im jealous of her or im obssessed. I dont think my ex will ever regret doing what she has been doing. Idk but i feel like she could care less about me. i see her at work and she cant even look me in my face or acknowledge me. At the same time i can tell she isnt happy with things. She isnt the same women she was. But its funny how she still is friendly with my friends knowing that they possibly know whats going on with her. Why not cut them off too if she felt i was a threat.
Do you honestly believe that things will change or rather my ex will change once the guy she is with leaves. Im hoping then she would realize that she made a mistake not trying to patch things up and moving on too fast. I feel like a big reason why she doesn't talk to me is because of her staying with that guy and not trying to make him feel uncomfortable talking to me and also, the fact that I know who it is must bother her if she goes out of her way to avoid me. But as far as there still being any love or feelings left for me idk.
You dont think i damaged things by just trying to be friends with her. i believe me agreeing to be friends made it easier to relieve her guilt for doing what she is doing. i dont think she looks at me the same or thinks im even boyfriend material. I think she will cling to somebody else once the guy leaves because she doesnt want to be alone and she has a history of doing that.