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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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I meet this guy online 6 months ago,

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I meet this guy online 6 months ago and his name is XXXXX XXXXX what he says but clearly I forgot. Anyways we meet once, and talked mostly on the phone, then I stop talking cause he told me was married but lives in separate homes. Recently, I started to talk him sometime ago, and he has told me that he has filed for divorce and know he is going though the separation process. Even it still bothers me I decided to stay at a slow pace like I have been doing already. We went out today after 6 months of talking on the phone, and it was more of  a family outing my 2 year old and his 11 year old at a restaurant. My question should I give him a chance relationship wise, he told me that he likes me a lot. Even though I am not completely attracted to him he seems like a nice man. He told he his confidence went down once he separted from his wife and know that they are going through a legal divorce he feels as though he has failed. Even told me that he slept with his best friend which increase his confidence level again, and I I got jealous a bit but did not want to let him know I was. So. I asked why don't you get with her and he replied, we are on different pages it will never work.  He tells why are you are trying to hook me up with someone else, and I explained I need to make sure of your status because I don't want to interpret anything.   I explained if I decided to get with him I did not want any one interpreting me as well. Should I continue to wait around and take this on. He definitely has been persistant in this 6 months even with me constantly telling him no when he asks me out.


Deardebra : Thank you for your question. I like that he was persistent in asking you out. This shows me he is very interested in you.
Deardebra : i feel you shoukd give him a chance to see where it leads. He sounds like a nice honest guy that you could grow a relationship with. You both could fall in love and then you will see him as attractive.
Deardebra : He was honest about his best friend so that you would know his situation. I feel that his honesty is important too him and he would always tell you the truth.
Deardebra : I would set up another date with him to see how you feel.
Deardebra : thete is a lot you both need to know about each other.
Deardebra : Some times it takes time to connect and have that attraction. Some times someone can do one thing and they become attractive. The relationship just started and I would at least go on another date to see what your feelings are towards each other.
Deardebra : it is very clear he likes you and did not want you setting him up with anyone.
Deardebra : he said right away that the other relationship would not work out.
Deardebra : he is interested in you and has shown his interest.
Deardebra : i really think he has a strong connection with you. I want to see what his next step is going to be.
Deardebra : See if he sets up another date right away or contacts you. I think he is very interested and you should give him a chance.
Customer:

Well.. I told him my little one will be gone next weekend and he mention us going to the movies. I can tell he is attracted to me cause he mention how he scope my body out in my dress and tights and even my pretty feet which were in sandals. He told me he felt I was afraid of him because I was quickly rushing away when it was time to say good bye. I did not hug him or kiss him or give him a hand shake, I just looked at him and said "Thanks for lunch we appreciate it and left". I explained that we need to go out a few times before I'll become affectionate and he replies that fine I will wait, and says I know one day you will get comfortable with me.

Customer:

I guess I am just used to wanting instant attraction . This normally makes my heart a little bit faster and want the affection much quicker.

Customer:

Plus he tells me I am not going anywhere, and hopefully your not going anywhere.

Customer:

I guess he feels this way cause we have been talking on the phone for 6 months prior to our first date.

Customer:

it s funny because he remembers how long we have been talking on the phone but I don't.'

Customer:

He already told me he is emotionally attached to me because of the conversations we have been having.

Deardebra :

That was good you told him you needed to go out more times in order for you to be affectionate. He even comment on your feet in sandals, this guy is someone that notices detail. I feel he would be very loving and kind.

Deardebra :

I agree with what he said about being emotional attached because he has been talking too you. People can have instant connections just by talking even if they never meet.

Deardebra :

He already planned to go to the movies so I feel you should go and

Deardebra :

see how you feel about him. I understand that some times people get that instant attraction where their heart beats a little faster, but there is also an attraction where you feel comfortable like you have know the person for a long time even though you just met.

Deardebra :

I feel you should give him a chance and see how you feel after the second date.

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