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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Hi there,I m a 31 yr old male and am getting married in

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Hi there,

I m a 31 yr old male and am getting married in January coming year. I have been talkin to my fiance fr quite a fewc months now and we have been talkin and discussing a lot about each other and getting to know better.
Recently while having a casual conversation, we touched upon the topic of post marriage sex and our own likings and views. Though, I consider it to be healthy if we reach an understanding about each other being this as an imp part and parcel of our complete acceptance. So we talked about our fantaciees, likes and what we both plan to do on our first wedding night.
But, we both struck with a thought suddenly. We wanted to make that a very very special moment for our wedded life. But by sharing all of our ideas and thoughts, are we spoiling the excitement of the moment. Like, I wanted that to be a beautiful experience for both of us and let the excitement build up with the unknown.
I am not sure if by discussing this topic in such detail, we are attaining a more comf level or just risking chances of making all so predictable.
Please Advice. Much thanks.
Dear friend,

I believe that you and your fiancee did absolutely no harm in having this discussion. In fact it probabably served to show each other that neither of you had either unexpected or unacceptable requirements or fantasies.

It is good for each of you know what the other likes and in this manner you can both better please each. You are not scripting the wedding night but just getting familiar with each other so you understand how best to please each other.

Let's make a rough analogy with an upcoming summer holiday slot with two friends. You both have to decide where to go, how to get there, preference, activities (urban museums and dining versus camping in the mountains versus relaxing on a remote beach, etc.).

This won't spoil the vacation but rather help to make it a better one.

The same with what you are doing. You won't know in advance how it will unfold, but you will know better what to do and what not to do.

Now you know. May you have a blessed wedding and blissful life together. To that end I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

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