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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 969
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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Hi Im 26 years old and my ex and I have been broken up

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Hi

I'm 26 years old and my ex and I have been broken up for almost 2 years now. We, well mostly him, suggested we should remain friends. I would have said 'goodbye' to him a long time ago but he is the father of the two children we have. That's the only reason why we still remain 'friends'. However though, sometimes I feel like I still love him and there are times when we do get together, we actually (sometimes) end up sleeping together. This has been going on since the breakup. I don't know what's wrong with me but even though I tell myself that I don't want to be around him or even to sleep with him, I just end up going back and sometimes end up feeling guilty.
Other than that, he has two female friends who seem to be getting close to him. But he's oblivious to the idea. When it comes to flirting and whatnot, he's not too smart about that. Heck, he didn't even know I was flirting with him when we first met 10 years ago.
Anyways, I know I shouldn't feel jealous because we're no longer together but when he's with those two (separately) I feel more hurt than jealous. Reason is that it seems he tells me about these two (cause he thinks I'm ok with that) and sometimes it sounds like the two friends are flirting with him and giving him 'signs' that they like him but he has no idea about it. First of all, girl #1 is 2 years older than me and she acts all high and mighty it seems but she seems awkward when I'm around, especially when I'm with my ex. And she'd often get him to a private area just to ask him a private question or something like that. Plus, recently she planned on going on a trip and my ex was invited but when he suggested his other friends, she didn't seen to like the idea (from what my ex tells me).
Girl #2, I hear from one other guy friend, that she is two-faced and she may seem nice but basically be a b**** afterwards. Plus, she always seem to say to my ex, 'we should do this; let's buy that; we should get that together; I also wanted to buy what you bought; etc'. Basically she always suggests to my ex that they buy the same thing together or have a solar item (ex: he just bought a bass & she is convincing him to help her buy one for herself). Plus, he mentioned to me that she actually slept in his bed with him a few times. But there was no sex involved. I've known him a long time and I can tell when he lies and when he tells the truth. He was telling me the truth. He had never had sex with her. I thought that maybe i'm paranoid but his brother, my nephew and our close friends seem to believe that these two girls are really into him. Plus they believe that maybe they are just wanting to use him for their egos. They think that because he had a high paying job and he is the most generous guy I've known. I think maybe he often pays things for his friends because they might say they're low on cash.
And that's just basically it. I feel like I'm still in love with my ex but I feel like one of his female friends wants to go out with him. I'm not sure what to do about this. People sometimes tell me to find someone else to go out with but some have faith and hope that we go back together because we have kids together. I'm so confused.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 1 year ago.
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Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 1 year ago.
I'm not ready to quit writing to you on this, because there's a major feature of your situation I have not explained.

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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown
Professor on Writing Sabbatical
375 Satisfied Customers
Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples