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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Hello, I need some help regarding my situation. It is difficult

Resolved Question:

Hello,

I need some help regarding my situation. It is difficult to explain without feeling emotional. I am feeling really lonely and empty at the moment and hate feeling like this. I am jealous of my friends who are in relationships, have children as I am desperate to have a family. My biological clock is ticking and I worry that I may never meet anyone to have children with. I am trying to get out there and meet men, but I am not having much luck. It can be quite disheartening when things don't work out. I don't know what to do stop my loneliness and jealousy feelings. The feeling of loneliness is painful, its horrible.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you.

It can be very difficult when you feel lonely. You just want that one relationship that will take the loneliness away. And what you feel is normal. However, sometimes jealousy and deep loneliness can signal an issue that needs more attention than just being with the right person.

It may help to take a look at how you feel about yourself. Have you always felt this way? Do you feel being with someone would complete you? Do you feel finding someone to be with and the feelings you have about your friends is the focus of your life right now? If you do feel this way, it could be that your feelings indicate something you need to deal with. Either a trauma from your past or a loss of some sort in your life.

If you are doing everything you can to address being alone, you might want to try exploring what you feel through therapy. You can also try talking to friends and family that you trust. Consider on line groups for people who feel alone. Here is a resource to get you started:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Loneliness/support-group

You may find that even people who are married often feel alone. Just by realizing that, it can help you see your loneliness as more than just not having a partner but also that it can be as a result of other issues.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

 


I don' t think a relationship will complete me, in fact I have spent most of my life on my own than in relationships. I have done a lot of work on myself, and I'm at a place where I do like myself. I have always dealt with things on my own, and have found it hard to rely on people. But I don't understand, some of my friends come across as needy and needing a relationship to complete them and they have managed to find people. Sometimes I wander whether its me? I am ready for companionship and a real emotional connection. I was in a relationship last year, and it was one of the best relationships I've ever had.. But he was scared of committment and decided to end the relationship. I guess I'm feeling a bit disappointed with life and I'm not very lucky in relationships. Could be due to me? Its horrible when you want something and life just gives you the opposite. I just feel like going inside myself. I am trying to be positive but sometimes I think what is the point!


 

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
It is not easy to know why a relationship ends. Sometimes it is due to the other person's issues, as it was with your last relationship, or it is something that just does not work. It is also possible that there is an issue you are not aware of that makes you choose certain people to have a relationship with. We all learn patterns of relationships in childhood and if you did not have a good example or you were affected in a way that you are not aware of, that can affect how you react in relationships. It is worth exploring in therapy to see if that could be the issue. But in the meanwhile, try not to give up hope. You are doing all the right things to find a relationship.

Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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