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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Ok so I been talking to this girl for a couple months now.

Resolved Question:

Ok so I been talking to this girl for a couple months now. We have been on 8 dates told and have had sex twice. Everything was going great! Always had an awesome time together. We hung out Monday before I left for my 2 week army training (yes we slept together). This was almost 3 weeks ago. 2 Wednesdays ago is the last time we had a legit convo through texting and I told her I missed her. Then the next day she sent me pics of her dogs without me texting her all day but didnt respond to my reply. Then the next day I sent her a pic and got no reply. Then I let it go the weekend then Sunday I texted her "hey!" And got nothing. Then the next day I just said "how was your weekend" and she responded like 12 hours later by saying "it was god thanks! How was camping? (Picture I sent Friday) then didn't respond to my next text I sent the next day. But did respond to when I said I'm getting promoted. And the next when I asked what she was up to. All texts were very friendly and asked how I was. But I didn't respond cuss I fell asleep. I decided to just leave it alone for a few days and still got nothing from her. Also while I was home and we were talking she still was in the site we met on, however she just took it down this morning. I'm so confused... What should I do? Did she find someone new? Am I over thinking.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

You can't help over-thinking this because all of a sudden your potential beautiful relationship has stopped working and you do not know why.

It could be that she found someone else who is around and entered into a relationship with him as easily and as quickly as she did with you.

If she was on a site and found someone she wanted to be with on the long term then she could have taken down her info.

She may have been talking to him and even seeing him before she met you.

You are not around and she may need to be with someone close by rather than in a long distance relationship.

On the other hand, she might not have received your emails or took your lapses as lack of interest.

There could be other reasons that there has been technical problems in your communications which has led to mutual hurt feelings.

Don't give up yet.

Communicate with her by email or text or phone and tell her that you are concerned about not being able to get hold of her.

Tell her that you value your friendship and relationship and hope she does too. Ask her, if she intends to stop seeing you, to at least give you some closure by talking to you. Be kind and patient and don't accuse her of anything.

You said that you let it be.

Why don't you try to get hold of her again. Be patient and 100% positive (meaning do not say ANYTHING negative or question her).

If you need further support, please don't hesitate to get back to me.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know that's she's working now. Should I send her a text like "made it through training without being attacked by ducks" (inside joke) and see if she responds or should I wait till later and just straight call her with no notice?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear XXXXX,

The duck quip sounds like a good idea. Normal conversation. Tell her that you miss her and look forward to hearing from her.

If she doesn't respond then you can ask for an explanation.

Best of luck.

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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