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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 and half eyars. We met

Resolved Question:

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 and half eyars. We met very soon after his marriage break up and his wife wont accept me. She has abused me verbally on the phone and face to face, stalked me and turned up unannounced at his place when i am there. She is now living overseas but is returning home for their daughters babys birth. i have emailed her recently offering an "olive branch". She has told my boyfreind she wants nothing to do with me ever.

he is afraid to stand up to her and for me. He has spent the past 3 years protecting her by not including me at all. Now she is coming home for the birth of their grandchild he wants time with them without me "if thats OK".

No its not ok but I dont know how to manage this latest rejection.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

This relationship is controlled by a former wife that doesn't even live in the country.

He won't stand up to her.

He won't stand up FOR YOU.

You have two options:

1) Continuing living at the bottom of the pecking order - not a second class member but a third class member of the "family"

OR

2) Stand up for yourself and demand to be put first. He needs to choose between finally having you as his woman or continuing to be her servant.

This is up to you. You might lose him, but if he really loves you he will fight for you. If he won't fight for you then why stay with him? You need a man to be your hero and support you 100% and not treat you as an outcaste or side-show.

I wish you great strength and courage and I shall keep you in my prayers for that end.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, CCMHC, NCC

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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