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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1474
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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this is complicated. i have been separated from my husband,

Customer Question

this is complicated. i have been separated from my husband, who i have a nine year old son with, for three years. i also have a daughter who just graduated and turned 18. both my ex and i live in the same city, and have, since we separated, we have a very good relationship and are active parents in my son's life. We are both in serious relationships. My boyfriend lives by the beach about an hour away from me,and works from home. I recently found out that i am pregnant. my boyfriend has no children, lives in a large home with a dog and 2 cats (these pets and surfing are his LIFE). we decided that we want to have the baby but he wants me to move to his house. My daughter does not yet have a job and has registered for our community college, my son loves his school and doesn't want to leave, and I live where I work. I don't think it's fair for him to make me feel like i need to move and i can't seem to make him understand how difficult this will be for so many people in my life. we tried to make a compromise, he said if not the beach the mountains, and we promise to move back to the beach within 5 years. great! there's is a cute town that he picked close to where i live, we checked some places out but he is still consistently telling me how difficult this is going to be for him and how upset he is about the move. i've been a mother since i was 18 and have always had to put the needs of others ahead my own, i just wish he could see how difficult this is for me
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 3 years ago.
Difficult situation. What would you like me to help you with?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I guess I'm wondering that since he can't see that it is a real struggle for me to leave my town (because of my kids, work, etc.) if this should be a red flag for me relationship wise. or if i'm just not being sympathetic enough to his needs.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 3 years ago.
I would say that you need to stay where you are at. It wouldn't be fair to your youngest to uproot him out of school and away from his dad.

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