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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5220
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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my husband and i got separated 2years ago ... i dated a couple

Customer Question

my husband and i got separated 2years ago ... i dated a couple of people and im still with one of then leAving together , my husband knows i have problem with this guy and he wants to get back together , we have a kid .. dont know what to do !!! could it work?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 3 years ago.

Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.

I can imagine how confusing this situation must be for you. You are not happy with your current relationship; your ex husband is courting you and he seems like everything he wasn't. But is this new him the real new him?

And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. It is true that men can be different when they are trying to win a woman. They can be one way and then once the "conquest" is made and they are in the relationship, they can become a different person over time, less attentive, less caring, less interested, etc.

One way to know is to think back to your first getting together with him: was he also attentive and exciting during that first getting together period? And then did he then become less and less so until you finally left the marriage? If so, that may be a very big red flag.

But you might also consider some pre-nuptial couple counseling. This is a very good idea in general. But in this situation, it may be very useful to you. You are already very worried about whether this can work and if he's really the new man he seems to be.

You will need to be careful to let the counselor/therapist know that you are concerned he may be putting "on his best face" to try to get you back. And that he may do the same with the therapist. But a couple of months in couple counseling may help you two to get to talk about enough of your concerns that it might be sorted out.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

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