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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Hi, I have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend

Resolved Question:

Hi,
I have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for over 8 months. We are both crazy in love, and I am certain she is the one. The only problem is something my mother said to me. She asked if my girlfriend was "the one" which I know she is. She went on to say that she doesnt seem to see the passion that her and my father had at that point in their relationship. This occurred several months ago but it did have me thinking. Do we have enough passion? I am satisfied with how things are going but I thought I'd ask for advice for thinking it over again in my head. We are currently both enrolled in college if that helps? I'm 20, closer to 21 and shes almost 20
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

jenhelant : Hi, I understand why you would be concerned about what your mother said and it is good to listen to advice of the important people in our lives. However, we must be sure to analyze well in order to be sure if it pertains to us, so I do think you are handling this the right way. I think if you are happy with the way things are then that is what is important. Every individual and every relationship is different. Even though your mom's feelings are real they may not be accurate or have substantial basis. Even though your mother may mean well based on her reason It does not sound as if she is seeing something you are not. It is not a fair comparison to compare the both of you to her and her husband. Really no relationship should be compared because each is different and its own. Also, some people can be uncomfortable in front of parents and I highly doubt it would be easy to show lots of passion. What is important is what you and your girlfriend personally share between both of you and if you are happy with the level of passion. Passion can also be superficial if there is no true underlying relationship. What is important is the level of communication, respect, and love. Passion is what comes out as a result of all of that. If you feel you are on the same page with your girlfriend as she as you then you should not worry. You both are still young and continue to grow each day as individuals. At this stage it is important to continue to grow the relationship as well as to know one another and yourselves better each day. Communication is important and the love you both share.
Customer: I really appreciate your quick response! This isn't something I've lost sleep over, but it definitely had me thinking. My mother has a degree in psychology and sometimes over analyzes something that she thinks pertains to her life. Im not suggesting that psychologists over analyze! But like you said, I'm VERY happy with this woman. I'd love to spend forever with her. And she does have a few problems with PDA, to an extent. That's because of her religious parents. Mine are religious, but relaxed. We've definitely come a long ways and she loves holding my hand in public and kissing me, when appropriate. Before we "dated" she said this was off limits. I'm glad I've slowly opened her comfort level a bit. I'm REALLY happy with your response. This was some of the best advice I have received in a LONG time!!
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1124
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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