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Dr.G.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I dont know how to move forward. The anxiety from the rejection

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I don't know how to move forward. The anxiety from the rejection I am getting is at times overwhelming. A guy I have been seeing for a year now has cut off all communication with out a single explanation. I am more driven for answers and a chance to make it right than I am to move on. Instead I probably should be mad about his behavior, or at least upset. I tend to teeter back forth, I get mad and sad. Please give me some guidance. Thank you
What do you want guidance on?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Well my heart wants to get him back but my head says red flag and move on. I want guidance on how to deal with the rejection anxiety and see myself as the prize here.

I always say go with what your head says, because that is where logic and rational thinking is. Feelings tend to muddle the picture and can lead us into trouble situations. I am not sure what the anxiety is about? Fearing you will never have another relationship again? If there are red flags then you need to heed their warning. What do you think?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My insecurity stems from a messy marriage where years of cheating was involved. I have spent money on counseling and read a lot but there is just something that prevents me from just being ok with me and to not hold myself responsible for these types of situations, I am stuck. I have so much knowledge on the problem, I guess I am looking for that final answer to push me to be okay with rejection without taking it so personal or blaming myself. Does that make sense

Ok with rejection? That might be a little unrealistic. I don't know anyone who is ok with rejection. It hurts. That is the reality. The reality is also that this will pass and life will move on. The reality is that you were not perfect in the relationship either. That's ok. The reality is that he wants nothing to do with you and the relationship is ended. It hurts but it is ok. The reality is that dating means finding someone you are compatible with. If you are not compatible then you move on. The reality is that we get our hearts broken but the reality is that we heal and bounce back. The reality is that we learn from our mistakes.

See what I am saying. You are dealing with a hurtful situation but it will pass and life will be good again. But by all means, stop pursuing somebody that is not interested in you. That too is ok. You will find somebody that is. You are anxious because you are making this into something of a huge ordeal when REALITY is that this is just another stepping stone in the game of life.
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