How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Theres this girl I might get together with if she can sort

Customer Question

There's this girl I might get together with if she can sort out her (ex-)boyfriend situation and make the right decisions for herself. She likes me cause I dress well and am a "nice" but interesting guy who is "sweet" according to her. Thing is, I feel completely unprepared for a relationship right now because I feel I cannot take on the demands of responding to and investing emotions in another person. I am a very private person and don't at all mind being by myself or doing things on my own. I don't usually feel lonely and I wish for few friends (1-2) and quickly feel overwhelmed if I have more people in my life other than those 1-2 friends and certain family members. I have been diagnosed by my doctor as having schizoid personality "disorder" and it takes a lot to get me riled up or have a strong emotional response. I think I have become so used to being alone that that aspect of my life has become part of my identity and any relationship would be threatening to that, or at least impose obligations and burdens on me that I might resent and which might make me feel trapped and overwhelmed. Plus she seems like the type that is used to a healthy love life and my moods and feelings about sex wax and wane. Once in a while perhaps, but not more than that. I don't like emotional demands being placed on me and definitely don't like feeling obligated.

Sounds like a lot as I read what I'm writing. I'm sure no girl would be interested in having to deal with so much, especially shortcomings in some key areas necessary for a "real" relationship. So should I just tell her to forget about it? I've always known I'm "different" from other people but I like that and I prefer being unconventional and interesting. I feel like I will never be able to hold onto a "normal" girl and will only manage if I meet someone that is just like me. Where might I find such a person? Schizoids are rare enough and a female schizoid is very rare.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Hello again,

Are you surprised at your level of interest in this young woman ?

If she ever gets herself free of this old boyfriend, you could get to know her better and then explain about your SchPD. You never know. She is already attracted to you and may like the strong silent type.

It won't hurt too bad to try . Life is about living and sometimes you have to go through the pain for a bit of comfort.

If you are looking for some online contacts, you would try this Experience Project group of over 80 members who share your disorder and talk to each other.

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-Schizoid-But-Coping/44171

There is a rather bland Google Group:
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.support.personality.schizoid/zI3WjGFVcPw

and more interesting, one on PsychForums:
http://www.psychforums.com/schizoid-personality/


Imagaine all of these Schizoids getting together in groups.

It's certainly worth a look, isn't it.


I wish you great success on your adventures and quests. If I can help in any way please let me know.

Best wishes,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I'm not really so so interested in her it's just fascinating that with my history I've managed to attract a "normal" girl and I just want to see where it goes. She's nice looking, intelligent enough, but she also seems friendly like she has a lot of friends. I ask a lot of questions about her because I am a hopelessly analytical person that likes to have everything sorted out before I get involved in anything. Maybe

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
1412 Satisfied Customers
35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.