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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.
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i want chat about my girl friend

Resolved Question:

i want chat about my girl friend
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jean replied 1 year ago.

20pluscounts :

Hello, I am available for a live chat.

20pluscounts :

I hope we can connect soon. I will be notified when you join and I will get into the chat as soon as I am able.

Customer:

hi

20pluscounts :

Sorry I missed you. I am on line off and on today, and will look for you later.

Customer:

hi

Customer:

are you there

Customer:

i will wait for you

20pluscounts :

Hello I am here

20pluscounts :

I'm glad we could connect.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

good morning

Customer:

you are pscholgist?

20pluscounts :

Good morning I am a masters level psychotherapist with 20 plus years of experience in the field.

Customer:

very good

Customer:

then you hv big expirence

Customer:

in dissoiation

20pluscounts :

Yes

Customer:

ok

Customer:

here my story

Customer:

i get dissoiacted

Customer:

for 5 years

Customer:

i didnt get the right treatment

Customer:

then

Customer:

the problem

Customer:

10 guys attack me at night

Customer:

with weopens

Customer:

and that happend

Customer:

infront my house

Customer:

i notice

Customer:

that most symptoms

Customer:

stoped

Customer:

once i leave

Customer:

that spot

Customer:

5 years

Customer:

i change

Customer:

many drs

Customer:

after

Customer:

that

Customer:

i just discover

Customer:

that no way to recover

Customer:

in that place

Customer:

because my body

Customer:

is reacting

Customer:

in strang way

Customer:

like circule

Customer:

i get in easily there

Customer:

hardly i finish engineering

Customer:

from my countrie

Customer:

then i get visa to canada

Customer:

and i run away

Customer:

???#

20pluscounts :

I understand this is a struggle for you, major trauma for you. I'm sorry for that hurt. Your symptoms are your mind's effort to heal you.

20pluscounts :

How long have you been in Canada?

Customer:

ok

Customer:

problems

Customer:

didntt stops

Customer:

when i came here

Customer:

i feel part of me

Customer:

is improving

Customer:

and another part

Customer:

is become

Customer:

fugue

Customer:

i get out dissoiation

Customer:

find

Customer:

myself

Customer:

in place

Customer:

i dont remember

Customer:

how i get here

Customer:

i cant remember

Customer:

i get in hostpital

Customer:

then i get back to jordan

Customer:

then i get in dissoiation again

Customer:

and get back here

Customer:

and problem happend again

Customer:

i know it is dissoiated fugue

20pluscounts :

Your problems followed you.. when you hoped the move would make things better? You said part of you is better- tell me more about that. Parts of you have split- again in an effort to cope, survive. It sounds like you have learned a lot about this.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

i hv fugue

Customer:

i cant remember

Customer:

sometimes

Customer:

i feel this place

Customer:

not real

Customer:

or my countrie is not real

Customer:

am wating

Customer:

to see

Customer:

pschatrist

Customer:

my qeustion is

Customer:

i like canada

Customer:

i cant stay like this

Customer:

i cant get out dissoiation

Customer:

and i cant stay in

Customer:

i feel

Customer:

my body

Customer:

want me to get back

Customer:

because

Customer:

i feel

Customer:

this place is not real

Customer:

i hv apart

Customer:

is still there

Customer:

i cant remember the journy

Customer:

it is black

Customer:

poor

Customer:

very poor

20pluscounts :

Fear, trauma- right dissociation is the opposite of being grounded. You do not feel as if you are grounded in the now. You communicating with me- you sound grounded. You seem aware of what is going on right now. You do not feel things are real in Canada or Jordon?

Customer:

yes indeed

Customer:

i know

Customer:

but

Customer:

like i said

Customer:

i am working with 30%

Customer:

of my power

Customer:

this is dissoiaction

20pluscounts :

This is uncomfortable for you- of course. Need to work towards building up that 30%. Yes exactly, this is dissociation.

Customer:

ok

Customer:

my qestion

Customer:

is

Customer:

i hv two ways

Customer:

i get help

Customer:

with pschatrist

Customer:

to add ritalin

Customer:

and rivotril

Customer:

so

Customer:

if i remember

Customer:

the journy

Customer:

is there will be

Customer:

problem after that

Customer:

or

Customer:

i hv to leave canada

20pluscounts :

I'm glad you are getting help- I'm sure you wish you would feel better soon.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

but

Customer:

i dont wast my life

Customer:

in wrong way

Customer:

in your experince

Customer:

if i remember journy

Customer:

i can get out dissoiation

Customer:

because now

Customer:

i am keeping

Customer:

dissoiatiob

Customer:

dissotion

Customer:

because

Customer:

if i get out

Customer:

i get so confused

Customer:

and feel headache

Customer:

you hv big experince

Customer:

so what your sujest

Customer:

sugest

20pluscounts :

You fight to remember- have you considered keeping a daily record of each day to refer back on. It will also give you and doctor idea the patterns and when you go in and out of dissociation.

20pluscounts :

I'm sure you worry and are afraid, but there is hope to get better.

20pluscounts :

Having lots of support and keeping the hope.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

but

Customer:

what make me feel comfort

Customer:

is to tell me

Customer:

now

Customer:

i cant get out dissoition

Customer:

i feel my body

Customer:

want to get out canada

Customer:

because

Customer:

i get in while dissoiation

Customer:

so he cant remember!#

20pluscounts :

Are you seeing a therapist for treatment or just treated with medication? You believe it will get better if you leave Canada?

Customer:

yes and no

Customer:

my body

Customer:

want to leave

Customer:

because

Customer:

he cant remember come here

Customer:

at the same time

Customer:

i like this place

Customer:

i dont hv problem with place

Customer:

the problem

Customer:

is with fugue

Customer:

and dissoiation

20pluscounts :

Finding and practicing ways to get yourself grounded. Disconnect between mind and body- it can get better with treatment and time, and support.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

all that

Customer:

i know it

Customer:

my qestion

Customer:

is

Customer:

in this case

Customer:

if my mind remember

Customer:

the journy

Customer:

because am working on that

Customer:

problem solve

Customer:

or no way

20pluscounts :

Are you familiar with grounding techniques? Problem will be solved if you remember journey- really important to remember?

Customer:

yes yes

Customer:

please answer my qestuion

20pluscounts :

Is there anyone who can help you put the pieces together on the journey. Your question again please.

Customer:

ok

Customer:

now

Customer:

3 times

Customer:

whenever

Customer:

i want to get out disstioction

Customer:

i cant

Customer:

when i get out dissoiation

Customer:

i feel so confused

Customer:

because

Customer:

i cant remember coming here

Customer:

so my qestion

Customer:

if i remember the hole journy

Customer:

i can get out dissoiation without problem?

20pluscounts :

I understand what you are explaining but getting out takes time and a lot of help from a therapist, dr. I'm not so sure remembering will get you out.

20pluscounts :

Do you experience dissociation other than the journey? Or if it's necessary to remember to get better.

Customer:

no

20pluscounts :

Not sure it's necessary to remember in order to get better. It bothers you not to remember- but getting stuck on that may be frustrating for you.

Customer:

i can get out dissoition

Customer:

i get dose down

Customer:

because i dont want to get out dissoitcion now

Customer:

but

Customer:

my qestion

Customer:

if i remember the journy

Customer:

and work on that way

Customer:

it will be usufle

Customer:

or useless

Customer:

because

Customer:

if it is useless

Customer:

then why i try

20pluscounts :

Trust that you do not remember journey now, but as time goes you may. For some reason your mind is not allowing you to remember. Do you recall parts of journey? It means a lot to remember, but, trust this will come when you are ready. You can not "force" yourself to remember.

Customer:

bbut until now

Customer:

i didnt get answer

Customer:

i know all that

20pluscounts :

Keeping a journal can help you work towards remembering. I'm sorry, I am not answering you- I may not be understanding your question. Are you asking how you can remember?

Customer:

no

Customer:

am not asking about anything

Customer:

just

Customer:

i have two ways

Customer:

the first one

Customer:

is to wait

Customer:

until i wait

Customer:

but i dont know

Customer:

if i remembering

Customer:

the journy

Customer:

will solve the problem

Customer:

or not

Customer:

if not

Customer:

then i get back

Customer:

where is the problem

Customer:

why my body

Customer:

is getting confused

Customer:

and want to leave

Customer:

why i cant go in

Customer:

go on

Customer:

what the problem

Customer:

so

Customer:

if this problem

Customer:

solved by remembering journy

Customer:

then i try

Customer:

if not

Customer:

i leave

Customer:

i know

Customer:

all teqnicks

Customer:

teqnics

Customer:

safe place

Customer:

midction

Customer:

all that

Customer:

i know it

Customer:

but just

Customer:

remembering the journy will solve the problem

Customer:

because until now

Customer:

i dont know

Customer:

how i can go on

Customer:

i hope you understand me

20pluscounts :

I understand it is confusing to you. I do not know if remembering will solve the problem- It's your mind and body's way to cope and survive a trauma- the journey may be a good move, but still very stressful on you. Remind your body you are safe- remind yourself it the "dissociation" speaking to you. You know a lot about this. You feel strongly about remembering, it's upsetting to you. Remind yourself, mind and body you are safe- find ways to relax- if you are ready to remember you may.

Customer:

no

Customer:

i feel anxouis

Customer:

because

Customer:

i dont know if remembering

Customer:

can help me

Customer:

this why i ask qestion

20pluscounts :

Telling yourself you are safe, okay to remember, encourage yourself- relaxing may help you remember. Of course you are anxious with all of this struggle. I don't think anyone can answer that for sure- it may, it may not.

20pluscounts :

Do you worry this will happen again? To forget something so important?

Customer:

no but i need to understand

Customer:

why this problem happning

Customer:

why there is confusing

Customer:

i never had confusing

Customer:

if i understand

Customer:

it will be easier to find solution

20pluscounts :

Of course you want to understand. It may be the stress of the journey- major move, major step in your life. A big move like that would be stressful for all of us. With your history even more stressful on you- triggered this fuge.

Customer:

ok

Customer:

but now

Customer:

i hv nothing make me anxouis

Customer:

why there are confusing

Customer:

about place

20pluscounts :

We can not force ourselves to remember and putting pressure on yourself can do the opposite. Using those things that relax you is important. Yes, you are safe, tell yourself that over and over. Being in a different place, major change- it's upsetting to part of you. Tell that other part of yourself it is ok not to remember, you can still get better.

20pluscounts :

As you adapt, adjust, relax, you can begin to feel better. That's what trauma does, ramps up the "fear" button.

20pluscounts :

Afraid when part of you knows there is nothing to be anxious about.

20pluscounts :

Talking with encouragement and comfort to that part of yourself that is afraid may help. Be your own coach or best friend.

20pluscounts :

Anxiety can be free floating, nothing in particular happening, but we still feel afraid and anxious. Your mind and body goes into fight, flight, or freeze in response to your trauma.

20pluscounts :

Do not put so much pressure on yourself- our mind and bodies are wired for these things when trauma happens. It ramps up the fear, and thinks it must protect, part of self. When you think about not remembering, try and calm yourself with messages and reminders that your mind and body are not wanting you to remember, and you are not aware right now. You can become more aware.

Customer:

i see

20pluscounts :

We tend to put so much pressure on our self and want to know what and why about many things. It can be such a battle between our selves.

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 plus years of experience in the field.
Jean and 5 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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