Hello, I am available to assist you. Welcome!
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Emotions are not right or wrong they just are and you do have reason to be hurt by this.
You have known this friend for five years- not simply just an acquaintance.
It's a bit natural that distance can create "distance" in a relationship. Not seeing one another- you get involved in your life where you are, and unfortunately we may drift away from those we care about. It does not mean she cares any less. She may be in a "place" in her life where she's pulled away from friends or loved ones.
It is natural for you to be hurt by this, but try to consider it's more about where she's at in her life, verses anything you have done. It hurts all the more when it's a good friend, does not make sense does it?
I do believe because of the strong bond you will connect as you have in the past. Because you've know each other so long she may trust that you will just always be there. It is okay and appropriate for you to express how you feel.
That is hurtful when she has not contacted you for the baby shower and birth of baby.
It's painful to feel rejected by someone you call a friend.
It sounds like you have tried your best to contact her, it's disrespectful not to be more upfront with you, and or to get back to you.
I think getting out and interacting may be best, XXXXX XXXXX get involved, increase your chances of meeting people.
You are both in different places, and maybe at different stages in your life. It is not uncommon for those relationships to drift.
Have you expressed your hurt to her?
You are experiencing grief and loss with this friend shutting you out. She has hurt you and telling her how this makes you feel may be part of your healing if you decide to let go a bit. That is very hurtful not to be contacted at such a special time in her life- ouch! Try using the "I feel hurt by what is happening, and I'd just like to know if it's anything I did?" something like that-
It's very appropriate for you to ask that question, verses being left to fill in the blanks- and guess.
In order to know if you should "wait" or move on, may take an honest conversation with her. Anyone would be confused by this- yes very sad. I'm sorry for that loss and sense of rejection. It may be worthwhile to get really honest with her before you decide it's "over". What do you have to lose in being honest- if you lose the friendship it wouldn't be because you were honest- I don't think. Yes I do think you may need to confront her- ask questions.
Using the "I feel" can work better than "you never contact me" sort of message.
"I'm hurt, feel sad, miss you, just wonder what's up, please let me know if you want to pursue an ongoing friendship" something like that. She would likely read a letter or e mail. Chances are it's more the drifting issue- but disrespectful how she's handling this.
Maybe it hasn't registered that you are hurt?? Unless you ask you are left to guess, speculate, feel confused. She can only answer those questions.
As hard as it may be, be as honest as you can, from the heart- she may "hear" you better that way, and listen. She can not read your mind, nor can you read hers. You need to know either way, and if need be begin to take steps to move on if that is the outcome.
Baffled for sure! That is hurtful and unfair to you.
Certainly another option is to let it go- in a sense move on- and "hope" she contacts you- but you are then left to wonder and be very confused.
It's natural you would be hurt by her lack of contact without an explanation.
Do you have any other questions?
Please let me know if I can assist you any further. Thank you for your post. Jean