How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Karin Samms Your Own Question

Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 299
Experience:  with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
71830932
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Karin Samms is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Earlier this week I got into a very bad fight with a friend

Resolved Question:

Earlier this week I got into a very bad fight with a friend and I am not sure about my next steps. He have been very good friends for about three years and although he has recently moved to another state we exchange emails throughout the day. He requested my assistance on a presentation he was preparing for work an d I gave him what I thought was helpful feedback. His response was that my feedback was the worst he had ever received. When I expressed my anger and said even if he didn't agree I still was doing him a favor and he should just say thank you and not use them, he accused me of having an eggshell psyche. I later emailed him that I felt he used me and that I let him. Understandably he took offense and said he should stop emailing for a like bit. I agreed but the next day sent an email saying that he did use me as his confidante but our relationship was nor reciprocal as he didn't know basic things about me (he has never asked). A day or so later I sent an email apologizing for being hurtful.

I have his email blocked so I don't know if he ever responded or not. My question is do I keep him blocked and just let it go? What I said was true. I do feel used but I really do care about him. I have a suspicion that he is a narcissist but I can be over sensitive too.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi there, welcome to Just Answer. I will try and help you with your question.

I'm sorry that the both of you have gone through this, it feels very awkward and a difficult situation. It seems that you have had other underlying issues with him and this issue has just brought forward and highlighted that there are some issues within this friendship that needed addressing.

It might be best for you to decide if you want to open up lines of communication with him - possibly to bring these points to the table or not open them and leave him blocked - in which case you will need to close the chapter and his friendship and this part of your life.

Do you feel you can close this chapter or do you want to resolve this and just end the friendship but have some closure before doing so? Only you can decide as it is hard to just "forget" about friends - especially if you have unsaid things left over still. If you care about him but would like to apologize and leave it be and see if he contacts you, then you could unblock his email and give him the opportunity to do so. You however, did the right thing by apologizing for your hurtful words, so good for you, as you have not allowed yourself to be full of hate.

Sometimes, when confrontations like this happen, only time can help you both to calm down emotionally and then perhaps you can both see more with clarity and it will only be through this clarity that you will both be able to agree to disagree and move on.

Blocking him on email means you cannot get any dialogue going, if you unblock him - you provide him with the opportunity to apologize or at least to communicate with you. If you keep him blocked - you could only really do this, providing you can and are prepared to put a line under this friendship with this guy and move on. With both of your personalities clashing somewhat and your traits being on opposite sides - it makes your situation that little bit harder, however - your gut feeling will tell you what it is you will need to do about this, because I hear that you care about him too..

I truly do hope this is helping, friendships are so important - yet it's also important to not feel disrespected, misunderstood and unappreciated, so I totally respect why this is bothering you and why you're in such a dilemma, please do come back to me for further assistance and support if you need it, I'd rather support you as much as possible and receive a positive rating and I'd be more than happy to continue supporting you until you feel satisfied.
----------
If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service positively before you leave the site so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further. Your question will not close and I will continue to support your question. Bonuses are always appreciated.

Kindest Regards, Karin
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank you for your response. I agree. This is obviously not just about a work presentation (and I told him that). I do feel used by him but this was obviously not the way to broach that subject. I guess I am not sure what to do now. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to speak to me right now so I will give it some space and maybe reach out in a month or so. At the same time, I have been a very good friend to him (I even helped him get a job with my agency which he left for a better offer after only a month--hurting my reputation).

Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi there,

Yes, I think that is a very good idea - give it some time and for things/ emotions to settle somewhat and then recontact or send an email. I hear that you feel used by him - all the more reason to ensure if you do unblock him that he acknowledges and at the very least, can appreciate your position - especially with him leaving a job you set up for him so quickly and hurting your reputation in the process. Do look after yourself - this is important no matter what your decision though. My best to you.

If I have answered your question, kindly rate my service positively before you leave the site so I may be credited for my time. If you choose to rate me anything less than positive, please do come back to me and I will clarify further or support your query further. Your question will not close and I will continue to support your question. Bonuses are always appreciated.

Kindest Regards, Karin
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 299
Experience: with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
Karin Samms and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi there,

Thank you for rating my service positively, it is very much appreciated.

Please do let me know if I can be of further help in the future, if you have new questions and would like to return to me, please open a new page and ask your question, please ensure you add "For Karin" at the start of your question and I will do my very best to help and support you.

Take care, my best wishes to you and I hope you resolve this situation one way or another.

Karin

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions

Chat Now With A Counselor
Karin Samms
Karin Samms
Counselor
299 Satisfied Customers
with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues