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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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I was dating a guy for about a month. We have very different

Customer Question

I was dating a guy for about a month. We have very different schedules so we were only able to spend 1 day a week together but our time together was amazing - very easy, fun, lots of laughing, lots of hand holding and smootching. I was definitely falling for him and I believe he was falling for me. The last night we hung out he told me he carried me with him everywhere, that I was always on his mind. I melted.
The next day his ex called him for his b-day and wants to reuinite with him. He waited 3 days to tell me this and he told me he had been talking to her and he was really confused. I don't know much about their relationship other than they have been broken up for 10 months and she broke it off with him. He was devasted when they broke up. Apparently she has done the back and forth thing with him in the past. She is also 10 years younger than us (we are the same age).
We have known each other for 15 plus years and he has always had a crush on me and has always been very vocal about how much he likes me. He always called me every night, he texted me when he woke up every morning, he made plans with me, he spent his days off from work with me - he always initiated. He met my friends and they all called me individually to tell me how happy we look together and what a great guy he is and how it is so clear he just adores me.

I don't know what to do. At this point I told him I would give him the space to figure it out. I don't want to be his second choice. I have this voice in the back of my head saying he is the one..... I'm just so confused. Any suggestions?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
Hello. He is going to have to have his time to go through what he is going through. He will always have unresolved issues if he isn't allowed the opportunity to achieve closure. I would back off of him a bit and give him the space you said you were giving him and allow him to make his choice. Hopefully, he will realize what choice he has to make and he will choose you. Unfortunately, your hands are tied in this situation and he is the one who has to control the outcome. You need to try and remain strong and let go of him a bit so he can reach the conclusion he needs to. I wish you luck.

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