How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question

Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
57081136
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a customer who is insulting. Why do people do this

Resolved Question:

I have a customer who is insulting.
Why do people do this and, what is the pay off , the reason he or anyone else feels the need to do so?
Its happened to me more than once. Thanks
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Deardebra : Thank you for your question.
Deardebra : The reason why people are insulting is because they are either jealous or do not feel good about themselves so they put others down.
Deardebra : It is inconsiderate for someone to be insulting and being this way gets you nowhere.
Deardebra : What people do not realizeis if your nice you get more in return. When a customer is nice you waant to go that extra mile to be good to them. But when someone is insulting you do not even want to deal with them as a customer.
Deardebra : The best way to handel someone like this is to say soemthing positive some times people do not even know they are being rude. It is best to just be positive and not listen to this type of negativity. You want to focus on the customers that are nice too you.
Deardebra : Some times people feel the need to be in control and some times peopLe just can not realte with others properly. It could have been how they were raised
Deardebra : Some times people have so much on their minds and they could be having a bad day that they take it out on others. People often can not balance their lives to seperate what is going on in their lives that they do not see how rude they are being.
Deardebra : The next time this person is your customer, great them with a smile and be very positive, no matter what insult they say just smile.
Deardebra : It is very hard to change a person that is this way. It is wrong to insult anyone and this person should be told that they are insulting, but I feel the way to handle it is be nice and hopefully they see it is better to be nice and treat people with kindness.
Deardebra : People when they do not feel good about themselves they find fault in others so that people can not see that they do not feel good about themselves. They hide behind behind this negative exterior appearing that they are strong and in control. But what really ia happening is they do not want others to know they feel weak and some times overwhelmed about life.
Deardebra : Thank you again for your question.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you
he is a long time customer.
This time I told him to their is no need to talk to me like this way and that I heard his concern.
Is this okay?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He hasnt written back yet, but I fear it will be insulting again.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.
I agree with what you wrote because you were direct and also explained that you are trying to help him as well. It sounds like he thinks that if he is rude that he gets your attention, but he needs to see that if he is kind that you will get more by being nice. He seems to think if he is rude he will get more, but he's wrong. If he writes back and is rude then you address it again that you are doing your best to help him, but it is best for us both to solve the problem with out being insulting. He has concerns you are helping him there is no need to be rude.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes thanks !!!
Two things I suspect and agree with you on...
He hides behind the negative to be seen as in control, to hide insecurities.
Also, I think he is looking for attention.
I appreciate the opportunity to run this by you, and your suggestions are well taken.
Good evening
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.
He seems like he needs to be in charge and feels that he gets more with insults. I feel this is all he knows. It is like he needs to be taught that people should not be treated this way. I feel he has always acted like this and might not even realize his behavior is inappropriate and bothers others. He doesn't realize that if he was nice people would respond better.
If you need anymore help I am here to answer all questions.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions