This is it, I feel so stuck in a rut and I need to get out and I want to, I suppose it's just taking that step. I know that they will never know that something is wrong unless I take some sort of action. Financially I am in a position to look after myself and my sons without too much hassle. I am a professional woman, I am the Head of Art at a local High School. The person I am at home is totally different from the one at school. At school I'm in control, the kids do what I want, at home the roles are reversed and I am told that I am stupid and don't know how to look after my sons properly. If we run out of anything at home I get it in the neck, I do the grocery shopping and the cooking so why didn't I know it was about to run out. Is it the end of he world?! Back in February my MIL was in an accident where someone had run over her foot,she was quite badly injured and still hasn't fully recovered. On that same day my husband argued with me over a letter which I had put to the side to dispose of which had my MIL's personal details on. He went mad practically shoving the letter in my face saying "Do you know how much this info is worth ?" All because when he asked me what it was I just said in an off hand way, "Oh, it's nothing." He went mad, "What do you mean it's nothing?!" He wouldn't allow me to explain that it was just a comment and yes I knew that the letter was important that I would get rid of it properly, I do that kind of stuff everday. He lost his temper and our argument became a scuffle, for once I stood up for myself and fought back, which took him by surprise. Later he said that the reason why he wouldn't let go of me was because I was the one out of control! Can you believe it?! Anyhow, on that day my MIL had her accident, my eldest son called it Karma! Due to the accident I became my MIL's main carer, on top of everything else that I did, people helped out every now and then but mostly it was me. I even slept in the same room as her for 4 months in case she needed anything and have only just gone back to sleeping with my husband about 2 week ago. My day would begin at 4.30 and finish at 11pm, after I had seen to everyones needs and put in a full day at work along with all the responsibilities that that entails, but at least that's a break away from this lot. It's like they want me to be super human. I think that it was the responsibility of the accident that finally cracked me, I asked so many times for help and I was told to organise myself better. About a week ago, my youngets sons school trousers were a little to high and again, the usual rubbish, mother and on complaining, putting me down, in front of my kids of course. At the end of it my mother in law said, "When my grandsons get married I'm not going to bring home for them wives like her!" I couldn't believe what I had just heard, after everything that I had done for over the last 4 months, even coming home at lunch times to check on her and feed her as my school is only 5 mins away from home, she still said that about me. It was me that looked after her, not her daughters, not her son, ME!! How could she be so ungrateful. I'm not expecting massive thank yous but being nice to me wouldn't kill her. Don't get me wrong, they're not always like this but there is a negative comment everyday without fail. Before I used to let it wash over me but now it angers me. Like I said, they're not going to change, I should really leave them to get on with their own lives and lets see how they manage when they haven't got me running around after them all the time.
Thanks Karin, You helped to put things into perspective. You kind of told me what I already knew that I had to do, maybe I just needed somebody to sound it out to. I already have a plan of action in my head and me and my son have already been out to look at an appartment that we can rent on a temporary basis while I get myself sorted. I will definately look at those links that you sent. If it was just me I would have left ages ago b ut I kept at it for the sake of my sons, but now I'm going to put myself 1st for a change. My sons are coming with me, I'm not leaving them there so that they can start to poison them also. I'm ready to stand upto them, they don't know whats coming. I hope I have the strength to see this through to the end. Thanks again for all your advice, I really appreciate it. Mandeep