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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am recently separated from my husband.. We have had troubles

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I am recently separated from my husband.. We have had troubles throughout our marriage which we have worked through. In April 2011 he cheated on me at the time i was 3 weeks off havibg his 2nd child with a 14month old at home. Ive never dealt with that and as a resuly of that and and his lack of assistance with parental duties i started losing respect for him and really didnt care anymore. i took money from his account intending to pay it back without his knowledge that has caused our separation. i would like to work things out for the sake of our children aged 2 and 3. I always said i didn't want my children in a broken home. But the way things are at the moment i cant see how we could reconcile with all the negative being thrown around
I can see why you would be unsure. You have a need to make a decision about the relationship and he has a "we will see how it goes" approach. Most people would want to definitively hear whether the partner is willing to give 100% towards reconciliation. I tell people who want this closure to find a marriage counselor and work through the issues at hand. Otherwise you are left guessing about his intentions. If he won't go that gives a you a strong indicator of the effort he is willing to put into his marriage. Sometimes talking together is not ineffective since you are too close to the situation. If he cheated it takes time and outside guidance to heal this wound. I would approach him as soon as possible after you have collected your resources to further discuss this problem. I would also work on communication. The best resource is still the Mars and Venus series to learn the Rules of Fair Fighting on your own. You can learn a lot by just working together.
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