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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Is vibrancy something that will change in a relationship if

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Is vibrancy something that will change in a relationship if not tended to or kept up on purpose?

Deardebra :

Thank you for your questions.

Deardebra :

When it comes to relationships many things do change.

Deardebra :

When a relationship first starts out it is new, exciting and you are getting to know the person. Everything is so new that it sparks your interest.

Deardebra :

People both try to impress one another and as the relationship progresses things begin to get comfort.

Deardebra :

In order to keep a relationship passionate you need to always be thinking to impress the person you are with no matter how long it has been.

Deardebra :

People tend to get to comfortable where they feel they no longer have to dress up or they no longer make that effort to show the person they love attention because life gets in the way.

Deardebra :

When a relationship first starts what happens is the focus is fully on the relationship once the relationship grows and life falls into place people have a tendency to focus on things in life. People often lose focus of their relationship.

Deardebra :

One thing that is great idea to keep passion in a relationship is remembering memories you once shared.

Deardebra :

One way of doing this which is very helpful is recreate your very first date.

Deardebra :

You create the same date that you once had and this sparks the memory of the feelings you both have for each other.

Deardebra :

Relationships are always something that both people need to work on, relationships that are long lasting is when two people communicate, think of each other, make time for each other, and let those little things go that could start problems.

Deardebra :

A relationship is two people working together to create something every lasting.

Deardebra :

Life often gets so busy that people have very little time for each other and this is when people have to try to make the time for each other. You want to keep the bond and the commitment to each other

Deardebra :

going, but every relationship needs that time to bond.

Deardebra :

Communication is key in a relationship and talking about each other wants and needs are very important.

Deardebra :

You never want two people wondering how the other person feels.

Deardebra :

If a relationship is open and honest about each others feelings then you can focus on loving each other instead of guessing what the other person is thinking.

Deardebra :

It is also important to show your partner that you care and those little things like saying things like, "You look good today." Little acts of kindness like maybe making or getting take out of their favorite meal. Those little things let the person that you love them and that you are noticing those things that really matter in a relationship.

Deardebra :

When someone does random acts of kindness it sets a positive vibe in the relationship and people begin to do more for each other. I feel it builds the relationships understanding in really knowing what each other wants.

Customer:

Is this true for a friendship or just a romantic relationship?

Customer:

I assume it's a romantic relationship you are speaking to, here...

Deardebra :

I am talking about a romantic relationship, but yes, this very well would work for a friendship as well.

Deardebra : The difference with the friendship is random acts of kindness, remembering memories you share in the friendship, also communicating so each person knows where each person stands in the friendship.Is
Deardebra : trust something that has to be built in a friendship, yes.
Deardebra : When a friendship starts out your learning about the persons personality. You think about if you can trust them to tell them about your life and share the person you are as a person. The first thing you do is open up about life seeing if you can feel comfortable in sharing. You also wait fir their reaction. Once a friendship forms then you make plans together to do things and a bond forms. You enjoy being around the person.
Deardebra : I don't feel friendships need to stay excited because they are more like someone you rely on, share your life with and a lot of understanding goes along with a friendship. A relationship you have to keep exciting and fresh. It is about trying to keep the person you love excited about the relationship.
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