How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ryan LCSW Your Own Question

Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Professional therapist
16045978
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ryan LCSW is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I asked this girl out a few days ago, she said yes, we were

Resolved Question:

I asked this girl out a few days ago, she said yes, we were talking and seemed like we connected. Then before we go out she says we "have to talk." Said she moved back in with her boyfriend after breaking up with him and moving out last week. Said she loves him and he wants it to work out and he wants to change. The problem is he is extremely jealous and possessive of her and will do things like grab the phone out of her hand when someone calls for her and he always has to know everything about who she's going out with and why and where. She originally approached me to start talking weeks ago and that's how we started chatting and I suggested going out. Thing is, she says she "doesn't know" where her relationship with him stands, and she's together "but also broken up" with him. Said she "had" to move back in with him to be closer to her job. What should I do? It's clear she likes me and said if anything happened I would be the first to know. How do I get her to see what a colossal jerk her (ex-)boyfriend is?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I have over 10 years of experience helping people with relationship problems.

It does sound like her ex has some problems, and while it may be tempting to point that out to her, the decision to leave him is one that she is going to have to make on her own. If she does leave him for you, it's important that she doesn't feel pressured into that so that she doesn't start to question why she made her decision in the future. In a lot of ways it sounds like she already knows that he is a jerk, so directly confronting it may frustrate her more than help her to make her decisions. Unless she asks your opinion or seems open to advice, you may want to be careful about pushing the issue too hard.

One of the best things you can do is to show her that you are completely different than this guy. By treating her well and not being jealous or possessive, that should start to make her question herself and why she is staying in this current situation with her ex. It sounds like she is there more because he wants to work it out rather than herself, and it is certainly possible that as she continues to get to know you better and starts to see how things could be with you, that it will help to inspire her to make this decision on her own. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions

Chat Now With A Counselor
Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW
Counselor
872 Satisfied Customers
Professional therapist