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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 839
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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Hello... My girlfriend has Borderline PD. Do I just give her

Resolved Question:

Hello... My girlfriend has Borderline PD. Do I just give her 1mg to 2mg Haldol everytime she "starts" to feel like she's turning into the hulk? She's in an uncontrollable unreasonable rage right now aimed towards me. I am 36 and she's 26. She has PTSD from being abandoned by her parents and also being imprisoned and raped by her ex husband. And she also was a drug abuser (sleeping pills, ecstasy). Please help me. Thanks and God Bless. If you have any other advice short from me just leaving her, please elaborate as much as you can.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Norman Brown :

The most responsible advice I can give you is You Can't Expect to Manage Her BPD by yourself. You might be lacking in mental health facilities and trained people where you are, but if you try to be both her lover and her medical manager, you run a lot of risks. One of these is that she will come to experience you as the same kind of prison-guard as her exhusband became. Many men and women have bravely jumped into the dual relationship of lover and "rational-emotive" therapist, but discovered that trying to use their own personhood and love to bring their beloved into greater stability only got them tangled up in their partner's history and pathologies.

Dr. Norman Brown :

For once you become the stable person she can hang onto ("good mother"), she will idealize you and fly into a rage every time you disappoint her. And since she also has PTSD she will defend herself against being devoured by you at the same time as she is terrified of being ignored or abandoned. I would only try it, if I were you, if I could engage a counseling professional and a psychiatrist to take over the medical and therapeutic roles. I wish I could be more optimistic, because I don't expect you'll want to give up the thrilling&scary all-powerful "good mother" rescuer role as long as she looks to you for support.

Customer:

I have talked to her about taking medications, at her good times, she'll somewhat agree, but at her bad times.... Let's just say, "Forget it". Going to a psychiatrist / psychologist is not a normal practice here in Indonesia, aside from not wanting to go, she feels embarrassed as well if she has to go to one. What about my Haldol question? Is this a good start?

Customer:

Do you feel that just by ending this relationship, I will be more of help instead?

Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 839
Experience: Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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