why does my husband always want to help people because usually he goes to far when he trys to help them and than he ends up getting burned or hurt in the long run, most of these people are females, when I try to talk to him about it he says im being insecure and accusing him of cheating again and all he is doing is being nice. I try to talk to him but it is really hard, he thinks its all ok. for example, he had a text from a girl claiming he got her pregnant instead of maybe sending a text back saying wrong person and number he texts back just that but also trying to get into her business telling her if she needs someone to talk to she can talk to him, he tells them where he lives and his name. what is wrong with this and what can I do, he does not believe there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. we just found out the girl that texted him was actually his codriver (trucker) 12 yo daughter that they put her up to this, now some problems has arised and he doesn't even seemed bothered, I need help with this one
thank you so much for answering my question, it was very helpful, I am going to look into a couples counselor for both of us and pretend it mainly is for me because he does not feel he has a problem and that counselors will not help, that all the problems lay with me. one thing I do not understand I always tell him I need someone to talk to, like in the situation that he does with other people to be nice, but he does not put effort in trying to talk to me, he says there is no use to it because its all in my head, but he is willing to talk to other people about there problems and not his own wife, what should I be thinking and doing about this, I can never get nothing across to him, about how I am thinking, he thinks that everything that is bothering is all have to do with my insecurities and its not, I try to tell him that you have to be careful with people the situation may not be as it seems and he gets upset and just gets mad at me and say that I don't understand that im just insecure, should I just ignore him and go on with my life together and let him fall hard or do what especially if he refuses that he doesn't need help and wont go to a counselor, what can I do
I want to thank you for all your wonderful advice which I am taking to heart, one more thing, he is so much like my family, I have tried recently to talk to him and my family about how I am feeling and try to share my feelings and my thoughts with all of them, but the only feed back I get is that it is all in my head, that it is my thinking only. I showed him one day my conversation with counslers to involve him into my feelings and life and he started reading it but when he came to a part about him that he didnt like than he got mad and stopped reading & just did not want to bother anymore, and my family is the same way about it also. I would love for my husband to be the one I turn to, I feel if he had a better understanding of my thinking about everything than most of our problems would be eliminated but I cant even get him to want to sit down with me and talk about none of it which I would love, at least one person in my family to be willing to do that. I do feel that my husband does love me becasue he does come home to me every weekend from off the road (truckdriver) and we spend every minute of our time together getting along for the most part wonderfully, it just seems that we just cant sit down together & have a super serious talk with out him feeling attacked. I love this man from the bottem of my heart and would never think about leaving him, we have been through alot of good and bad times togeter and mad it 17 years, but I would just like to be able to at least share my feelings with him without him feeling attacked, I would love for him to be the one I talk to. Can you help.