Hello Kate, I am a 55 year old married man currently going through the processes of separation. I am seeing a registered Therapist to get Expert assistance to help me deal with the personal issues surrounding the separation. A complication has arisen that has caused me to seek outside help. A few months ago I was introduced to a woman (a close friend of the therapist) who I developed immediate and strong feelings for. This situation has created a conflict in my relationship with my therapist. Although my therapist ensures me that our conversations are bound by client/therapist privilege, I’m somewhat hesitant to discuss my feelings for this woman with my therapist, her close friend. The woman, who I have a Expert work relationship with currently, has told me that she is somewhat involved in a relationship and I feel that she has no idea of my strong feelings for her. She acts very friendly and sometimes flirtatious towards me and I feel that we connect well when we’re together. I honestly feel that I have met someone who could be my “soulmate”. Thoughts of her are constantly on my mind, however, I realistically don’t see our relationship turning into a romantic one. I approached her once to meet outside the workplace, however, she told me that her “Expert code” wouldn’t allow her to do that. Although I enjoy her company, I feel that the longer I continue to see her the harder it will be when I finally have to admit that I’m just living a romantic fantasy. Part of me wants to tell her of my feelings for her while my rational side tells me to just sever our Epert relationship without explanation and then try to remove thoughts of her from my memory. I have no idea what I should do – if anything. Your insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Yes, it is ok to explain to her why you need to cut off contact. That actually would be helpful just in case you need to deal with her on any other level such as professionally. Hopefully she will respect the boundaries between you and stop flirting and being more friendly than she needs to so you can move on and heal. Kate