Thank you for your question.
The texting an e-mails was just you expressing yourself too her and I feel she might have took them the wrong way.
She says that you scared her and she wanted you to stop, but all you were doing was expressing yourself too her so she knew how you felt. You should in no way feel like you harassed her in anyway.
In order for you to get closure you needed to talk with her to straighten things out.
She just cut contact and left you guessing on what happened that was in no way fair too you.
She should have told you right away I am back with my ex trying to work things out. Instead of leaving you with all these thoughts about what happen.
This was a good relationship you never fought, so you would have never know that she was going to leave to go back to something that has not worked out the first two times.
Now she is going back for the third time to work things out. The thing with her ex is he knows that he can do anything and she will come back, he knows she will forgive him. This is why things keep going bad. She leaves, he must tell her to come back he will change, but he never does.
I feel they have many issues in the relationship.
It's very hard to go back after three times thinking it will work.
I do believed she loves you and still could have strong feelings for you, but she feels like she has to make things work because they have a child together.
This is common that people sty together or try to make things work because they have a child.
But you can not stay in a relationship, be miserable, and not be happy because that effects everyone's life.
There is no reason for her to be with someone that cheats.
The reason why you are having such a tough time is because it was sudden. You had this great relationship you were falling in love then all of a sudden it is over, with no reason. You were forced to sit and wonder what happened. I am sure you wondered if you did something wrong. But you did nothing wrong she just feels the need to work things out with her ex.
I would simply text or e-mail her saying that you are here for her if she ever needs you. You want to leave things open so she knows if things do not work out, that you will take her back.
Because she might think that you never want to talk with her again. So you want to make that clear that you are here for her.
I think the reason why she wanted the texts to stop and e-mails was because it was making it to hard for her to move on.
If you were still in her life she would have a hard time working things out with her ex, so I feel she said something she didn't mean so that you would stop. She used the word scared, but I feel it was more that she felt bad and was hurt she had to leave.
You were making it harder for her to stay with her ex.
I feel like if you stayed in contact with her she would have realized that she made a mistake in leaving you.