How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question

Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Live with boyfriend for almost 4 years. I havent work since

Customer Question

Live with boyfriend for almost 4 years. I haven't work since basically I met him. Lost my job. I also helped him with his tenants and moving of furniture to storage when properties were sold. Basically became dependent of him. I realized that this was also an abusive/controlling relationship. His previous relationship ended same way. Now he is asking me to leave his house and putting preassure on to give him a date. I can not afford a rent right now since I don't have a job nor savings. He did buy me a ticket to go to Lima round trip at the beginning of the month. Right before I departed asked me to move out so I had to leave my personal items at a friend house. Came back with hopes of fixing things but once again keeps asking me to leave every single day. Telling me that I was his guest here and that this was never my home. Even the housekeeper felt entitle to insult me and at the end threat me. I realized I was blind and never saw how abusive and controlling he was. I asked him to have some consideration since I was his partner for almost 4 years but he does not agree. He even wants me to go to Lima since my family lives there. I realized he was seeing some other guy when I was in Lima. I believe he always played his power because he is economically in good shape. In January I found out that the housekeeper practiced some witch craft on me and placed them in my carry on since I was going to Lima but had to cancel at last minute. Didn't placed a police report because he kept me from. For my surprise he even paid to the housekeeper for the entire month of February that she didn't work. I found it insulting to me after what she did.

Please need a guidance

Martin Mantilla
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
Hello. It is clear that he has made his intentions of you moving out his priority and that he has made other choices for the future of his life. You mentioned your family was in Lima and that he offered to help you get there. I think your best course of action would be to go back home and stay with your family until you can get back on your feet. It seems like the only option for you at this time if you cannot afford a place of your own right now and that you need to start over. It is too bad that he has decided to treat you this way and to ignore the 4 years you have spent together, but without analyzing all of the reasons why he feels this way, he just does. It probably isn't very moral or nice of him to do, but this is obviously who he is and what he wants and unfortunately, you cannot change his mind. He does not appreciate the things you have done to help him. You should try and pick yourself up and do what you can to move on and move away. It may not be what you want to do right now, but if you look at the options in front of you, that may be your only one at this time. The future will be better for you, but for now you just have to do what you have to do first. Being around your family will help you with having a good support system as well to help you move forward. Everyone gets hurt by someone in their lives. Picking up and moving on the best way you can will help to heal this wound so you can be a stronger person going forward.
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 3 years ago.
I'm just checking in with you to make sure you got my answer and to see if you had any further questions. I did not receive any feedback from you. Please let me know if I can help you.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions