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Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1168
Experience:  Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
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I began dating someone about 3 weeks ago . Ive found out much

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I began dating someone about 3 weeks ago . I've found out much negative info. about him already. He didn't graduate from high school, doesn't drive, his landlord manages his money for him and he has very little of it. He live in a primitive basement situation. He's calling me 3 x a day. I feel I have to severely limit contactor end it. What should I say?

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

It does seem like this man may not be who you initially thought he was. If he has someone managing his money...then that certainly suggests some financial or even intellectual issues. You ask...what should I say...

Dr. L :

I find that honesty is always the best policy. So, how about saying, "I enjoyed our first few times together. However, I don't feel that we are a good match. You deserve to be with someone who is interested in you and who wants to pursue a relationship. I'm just not that person."

Dr. L :

If you really are not interested in him and don't see a future...then end it quickly..don't drag it out.

Dr. L :

What do you think?

Customer:

Thank-you. Your answer did help some. It is true the man I imagined him to be is turning out to be someone quite different in real life.

Customer:

I met him in a 12 step group and it seems that his whole social existence revolves around these meetings to the exclusion of everything else. I have found this with other members of these groups. Their idea of a date is to "go to a meeting". They seem to be afraid to branch put and do other activities.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

Yes..the meetings are often a life line and become, as you said, their entire social life to the exclusion of everything else. That's a sad kind of existence.

Dr. L :

Better that you found this out now...then later when you would invested much more into this relationship.

Dr. L :

I'm sorry this has happened.

Dr. L and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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