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Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Professional therapist
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can a relationsip with my bi polar partner happen even after

Resolved Question:

can a relationsip with my bi polar partner happen even after they have cheated
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 10 months ago.
Thanks for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX X have over 10 years of experience helping people with relationships and mental health issues such as bipolar.

It is certainly possible that your relationship together can heal and move forward, but a lot does depend on the motivation level in your partner to figure out what led to this behavior and to work on the issues behind that. Bipolar may make her more impulsive at times, but if she is dedicated to working on that as well as any problems within the relationship that may have led to this, then it is possible for the relationship to be repaired and the level of trust rebuilt over time.

Getting her help seems like the right idea, both to cope with the Bipolar and to figure out what was behind the cheating. If part of the problem is that she doesn't have control over herself when she is alone, that may be an indication that a lot of work still needs to be done in order for her to work through this. Even if she is dedicated to working on these issues, at that point the question becomes how long are you willing to wait to see if/when she can work through this problem. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Should I leave her alone for her to concentrate on her problems and for me to work on mine and avoid physical contact with her at this time and only by phone or is that not a good idea at her present state of mind

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 10 months ago.
Everyone's situation is going to be a little bit different so the answer is typically whatever works best for the two of you. Often times after one person has cheated it can be a good thing to take some time apart and avoid contact, especially if that is what she is feeling like she needs or if you need some space yourself. However if she is ready and willing to work on the problems and you are open to it too, then there's not necessarily anything wrong with that so long as the time is productive.
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

My emotions are getting the better of me right now though with this part of me is telling me I can forgive her and move forward the other is can I forgive her for this because I was always faithful in our relationship I now I have low self esteem and depression. I guess what im saying is I don't know right now if I want to put myself through this again and I don't want to be alone at this time is there any groups out there that can help me if I decide to move on. Because I feel that there is no one out there for me now and I forgot to mention I have two kids with her as well that's why its so hard to just let her go

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 10 months ago.
I can't say I blame you for having a tough time figuring out how you want to move forward with this. Two kids does make it more complicated, and while I know you don't want to be alone, sometimes that's not always a bad thing in the short term while you're trying to sort this out. There are certainly counseling groups out there although you would have to look locally in your area. However you may also want to consider going to a few sessions of couples counseling with your partner, and that may help you to get a much better idea of whether this is possible to repair and how to best move forward. Hang in there,

Ryan
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

What kind of groups out there am I looking for to help me out im already going to a counselor. She was willing after talking to her today face to face to go on two months of only seeing me once a week or just talking on the phone but thats it because she told me she is a nympho now and couldnt control herself and I keep breaking her trust by not allowing her to prove me wrong. Can she really be trusted I dont know its too soon to answer that but after what she did I guess I will have to ask myself that question can I ever trust her again or just let her move on

Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 10 months ago.
I'm sorry to see that you left me a poor review. I don't have access to the types of local groups in your area, so you would have to speak with someone local such as your counselor in order to find out what is close to you. Unfortunately trust is the type of thing that you have to give to someone in order to let them prove it to you. If you don't feel like you can trust her after what happened that is certainly understandable, and if that's the case it would be best to move on.
Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Professional therapist
Ryan LCSW and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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