Rafael M.T.Therapist says:9:21 AM
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about your situation. It seems very frustrating.
Your story clearly shows how your relationship has evolved from being mutually fulfilling and meaningful, to the present where after a year of living together he dramatically changed and now directly tells you he does not have real love or affection towards you, but still cares about your well-being. This is very objective, since he is telling you how he feels, and that he does not belief he would feel any more than that with time. Thus this relationship has stopped being a mutual experience of understanding, caring, sharing intimacy and support, to one where he has become verbally and emotionally abusive and controlling. For him to tell you all these things and be this way towards you for the past two years, while not wanting you to leave to rebuild your life is very selfish, shows immaturity and manipulation, all unacceptable in an adult relationship.
For a relationship to work and growth as a healthy and fulfilling one, requires mutual respect, honesty, understanding, affection, passion and support. Partners need to have compatible personalities, same value and belief systems, and share same or similar goals, needs and expectations, creating one healthy life style together. If this does core ingredients and work are not present, then relationships could remain but would be dysfunctional and nonfulfilling.
He needs to work on his personal issues with professional support and start with respecting you, ending every form of abuse, control and manipulation. If he does not have feelings for you, then he needs to let you go, but you cannot afford waiting for the day he would do all this necessary work for you to take good care of yourself, please take full responsibility for your choices and actions and work on rebuilding your life in order to create the reality you need and deserve. Does it make sense?