Give me a minute to read your reply...
It sure does sound like a messy situation. This sort of thing is common in corporations as people tend to form alliances and build loyal relationships so that when there is a shake-up of some sort in the organization then no one is safe.
And what sort of "move" was he speaking about?
Did he tell you that?
I think it would be far better for you to decide what you want to do then to wait for her to make a move. If she has just been promoted..what are the chances that the company will move her to another department?
Are you one of the 3 rats?
If they fire the VP will they put her in that place?
Have you talked to your old boss about all of this?
I mean about what is happening with the new boss?
Would your old boss bring you along if he gets made VP?
Does your old boss have more power right now then your new boss?
So...do you feel that the best thing for you to do right now is to be patient and wait to see if your old boss becomes VP?
Then maybe they ought to start grooming someone for your current position so that you will be free to move with your old boss.
Do you feel that you would be more valuable to the corporation staying where you are..or moving with your old boss when/if he becomes VP?
What are your feelings about what the top boss said...that your position is not easy to fill?
Exactly. Would it be possible to have a private conversation with your old boss and tell him just what you wrote...that you feel you are being sacrificed and that you feel that is unfair and unreasonable.
Yes...that is the problem precisely...how long do you have to endure this terrible situation?!!!
If the company really believes you are that valuable...then they have to make it worth it for you to stay. Period.
One way to think about this is to ask yourself how much you are willing to endure...a month, 3 months, 6 months?
At what point will you say...enough is enough ... and I will leave no matter what they offer me or how much they say I am irreplaceable.
Tell me more about "it depends"....
At this moment...there is no guarantee of a "happy ending"...
So...let's look at it from a logical position....
if everything stays exactly as it is today...how much more can you take of this...
Okay...so do you think it would be in your best interest to start looking for a new job today...
Yes...that is the point...if they really value you they will do all they can to assure that you stay. At this point, they are offering you empty promises and you feel used.
You have to take care of you.
Your first responsibility is to your self and your son.
They know that they will have a difficult time of replacing you and still they are not doing much to keep you happy and working for them. It will be there loss if you leave as they have a way to keep you.
Yes...that is true...it is painful thinking that they aren't doing more to keep you. But as I say...that is there loss.
Sometimes changing jobs brings you a significant pay increase because the pay increases in your current job may not be keeping pace with the marketplace.
The first place to start is to dust off your resume and get it freshened up. Then start looking at other opportunities with companies that you already have some contact with. You might also thin about finding a "headhunter"...
Yes...it is often true that wages will be higher.
This sounds very typical with him...
You owed him no apology...
He was being his usual selfish, jealous, controlling and demanding self...
I bet he wasn't happy about that...
He got fired!!!!
You gave him too much sympathy!
Good for you!
Has he contacted you since then?
I'm so glad he is out of the company! That made it so hard...he stalked you there and had such easy access to you.
Good..you did not get caught up in his web...
I imagine that you feel much more relaxed at work knowing he is not hiding behind every corner.
You deserve to be free of that nasty man....
NO...you are not stupid...you were easily manipulated...
Please remember that he is a controlling man...and that he knew how to take advantage of your goodness, your lonliness, and your desire to please other people.
He loved you in his own way...but that was not the kind of love you want or need.
Yes...I do see what you mean...you are to easily persuaded by him....you lose your head around him and do not stay firm.
You are correct...there are many ways to be used in this world...by a lover, by a company, by friends, by family...
What we have to do is to stay wise...stay vigilant .... to this kind of treatment. You must learn to not let people take advantage of you and to put your foot down more quickly. It was never okay for this man to mistreat you. And you were, at times, unwilling to see the truth of how controlling and how manipulative he was. You must learn to distinguish between people who are truthful and sincere and those that are not.
You must say to yourself that you are a valuable and worthwhile person and that you will absolutely NOT tolerate someone taking advantage of you. That is why this mess at work is so bothersome.
Then stop doing it.
Stop working so hard.
Stop giving yourself to others and not getting anything back.
Right...he might get lonely again and start bothering you. You must be firm. You have given him far too many chances. He is not worth it. You must move on...
Maybe a change in jobs will bring you in contact with some better people...and maybe you will make new friends..including a man.
Good...moving on is the right thing to do...
Great! That's the healthy position...
It is important to learn how to embrace those times when we are alone..and learn to not be lonely.
Yes...I can understand how the work issues would be all consuming. It certainly has been challenging...
It is time for some joy and happiness to come into your life instead of all this chaos.
I'm glad your old boss has been a source of support. But...the company has to do more to keep you. They cannot assume you will stay just because they feel they need you.
It is time for me to say good bye.
You are welcome.
Please take care!
Stay firm in not allowing others to use you.
If the company does not make any changes soon...please consider looking for a new job.
It might be scary and difficult...but you absolutely cannot allow anyone to take advantage of you. You must stand up for yourself. You are now aware of this terrible pattern in which you work so hard to please others...and all they do is give you crumbs. You can stop that pattern.
You deserve better.