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Karin Samms
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 299
Experience:  with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
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My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot the past two months.

Customer Question

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot the past two months. Last friday we got into a really big fight over the fact I wanted to spend time with my family insted of going to his party were only his friends would be. The next day we hung out and he was all over me. I told him told him that i wanted to sit alone but he would not listen. So I left. I love him but he does not want to give me my space. I don't know if I want to be with him anymore. I am tired of all the fighting and I want to be happy like we used to be. I feel like this is toxic.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi there, welcome to Just Answer. I will try and help you with your question.

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this difficulty within your relationship, if you feel this is toxic then it might be crucial to trust your intuition on this. You could try talking to him but expressing that you are feeling uncomfortable with the level of intensity. Explain that perhaps you could both try slowing things down and allowing each other space to grow INTO the relationship more.

He needs to respect your space as much as you need to respect his. If he is not willing to give you this, then you need to reassess where this relationship is heading and whether you are comfortable with that. You're right in exploring your options and thinking this through as you don't want to 'react' as its always better to 'respond' based on what's real and in front of you as opposed to just reacting in a way that you might regret later down the line.

Trust your instincts, if you feel you need to have a real meaningful conversation where you both talk and not shout or argue, then this will allow you both to explore your fears and insecurities (perhaps this is why he holds you so close and doesn't seem to give you space..?).

Another option would be to talk somewhere where you both can really explore what is going on for the two of you. Is he worried about something? Does he have some fears over your relationship or anything from his past that makes him react in this way? It can, if he's not careful, push you farther away - which is something he needs to be made aware of. Try spending more time apart, and then arrange 'quality' time together whereby you give each other undivided attention. Perhaps this will reassure him and give you both some time to try out new ways of being together that it may save your relationship. However, if you feel this is not going to work out for you, then it would be important to communicate this to him. My best to you and I hope that you find the clarity you need to work through this, either together or alone.

I do hope this is helping, please do come back to me for further assistance and support if you need it, I'd rather support you as much as possible and receive a positive rating and I'd be more than happy to continue supporting you until you feel satisfied.
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Kindest Regards, Karin
Karin Samms, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 299
Experience: with over 15 years experience offering support with relationship, mental health & addiction issues
Karin Samms and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Karin Samms replied 1 year ago.
Hi A,

Thank you for rating my service positively, it is very much appreciated.

Please do let me know if I can be of further help in the future, if you have new questions and would like to return to me, please open a new page and ask your question, please ensure you add "For Karin" at the start of your question and I will do my very best to help and support you.

Take care, my best wishes to you.

Karin

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