Hi,I would like to do a short follow up with you, as some things have happened this week. She got really sick (stomach) and had to go to the doctors and has to stay at home for a few days until they determine what's wrong. So I decided to send her some flowers with a get-well-soon note. She recieved it and immediatly texted me that this is the best surprise and that she never got such beautiful flowers before in her life. Her mother saw them and told her "See ... he still cares, he still loves you." (she told me that). Then yesterday we had a long "talk" over chat ... she tol me that she sees that I've truly changed and that she can feel I'm supportive, affectionate, and that I show her that I care. That she's been thinking about giving me and us a second chance and that if anyone I deserve it, but she wants to be 100 % sure before she decides to open up that door. So, it seems that I've managed to clear some of the obstacles that were standing between us, but two major ones still remain. 1) She told me that one of the things she missed during our last 2-3 months together as a couple was PASSION. That I didn't make her feel like a woman and satisfy her needs (yes, she has a point, our intimate sex life went from great to almost non-existant during this period). How can I show her that I have this passion burning inside me without actually having sex with her. She won't do that. And even I don't want to do that, because it would probably jeopardize our chances of getting back together. How can you show someone that you are a passionate person ... without getting intimate? 2) She also told me that she sees the new me and she actually likes the new me ... but she is having doubts that the moment she decides to give us another go, that I will revert to my old ways and everything will be the same as it was. And she doesn't want it. How can I prove to her that I've changed (I told her that I've changed for myself, not for her)? What is the best way to show her I'm a different man now and will not got down the same road of mistakes that led to the disaster of the breakup? As we've talked before ... the trust needs to be rebuilt. The positive thing about our last night's conversation is that I've actually felt her make a little bit of an opening, saying "I've been thinking about getting back together, but until I'm 100 % sure, I can't do it" and things like "There are moments when I truly miss you", so progress is being made ... I just want to continue this journey and take it one step at a time and fulfill the ultimate goal of having her back in my arms.
OK, looking forward to your response.
What can I do to rebuild the trust we once had ... the trust she had in me, but has been lost? I mean I can see a big difference about how the talk went yesterday compared to how a similiar talk went just 3 weeks ago. Big difference. She was a lot more open, even said "I'm thinking about giving us a second chance" for the first time after the break-up. I mean ... this is progress, and I want it to progress to a point where she will have enough trust in me that I won't ever hurt her again and that I will take care of what she needs. She also said. I'm not gonna take you back just because you deserve it. I did that once and it didn't work out. I want it to be on my terms and I want to trully believe it can work out. So, what I think is we have made a few steps in the direction of being together again, but it's still a long way to go. And she can just turn around and walk away in any given moment. I don't want it to happen and I understand she needs time to heal. But at the same time I want to keep showing her the new, improved version of myself. I think she already knows how much I care about her and she likes the attention I'm giving her, she's just not giving anything back at the moment. I'm hoping someday she will. But that's for her to decide.
She doesn't have any expectations toward me at the moment. At least she's not telling them to me. She's told me what's been wrong, what I did to hurt her and what she wants and expects in the future (from any man). Yes, I understand that time is of the essence here, but I want to continue making small, baby steps on the road to reunion. There will come a time even for her, when she will have to make a decision. She went from a "no" to "i have doubts", I understand that this is a big step, but nowhere near as big as going from "i have doubts" to a "yes, let's do it."
Just one quick question and we're finished: We're going to that fancy place to have dinner on Sunday. Should I bring her a red rose (1)? Or would it be too much (maybe it would seem to her that with all these gifts I'm trying to 'buy her' back)?