Dr. Norman Brown : I think I can interpret your man-friend's actions and yours also, as a conversation the two of you had about what relationship you want if any.
Dr. Norman Brown : First, this man was more gentlemanly and less crude than others you've met, so inside you started to hope for a good relationship and also fear that you would make a mistake without realizing it and ruin your chances.
Dr. Norman Brown : When he said he'd be in town until the end of May, you could already realize that this would not be a relationship, since that's not enough time to build something that would last in a distance situation.
Customer: I left out something, I live in Mississippi, he's from Texas, he said he comes here a lot for work so I would have saw him when he came here for work
Dr. Norman Brown : You felt that you were not ready for sex (it's a risky move to get into sex on the first date, though many women do it in hopes of getting the man to want more of them). But then you let him stay in your room. You basically wanted him to wait and come on slowly and he was coming on too fast (definitely--and he was laying out his expectations for the relationship: 3 x a week to date, and sex would be desired as soon as you're ready--better be several times before the end of May or you wouldn't pass his audition for next girlfriend.
Dr. Norman Brown : You told him to go away, but then wanted to reassure him that you did want him. So he made all his expectations very clear--so presumably he expects to find somebody else if you don't want to play it his way. Do you? Do you want to be wined & dined and have sex 2-3x week when he's working in Miss?
Dr. Norman Brown : I gotta go watch Sat Night Live with my daughter for now. He's not even suggesting that he might want this to develop into a long term relationship. He wants to meet his woman-needs with you while he checks you out for the possibility of something more.
Customer: I appreciate your advice, I understand why he acted the way he did, he does seem a little controlling, I think I'll move on now
Dr. Norman Brown : Good idea. I came back to ask you What would you be thinking 6 months from now, if he has spent 3 one month periods with you doing all the "companionship" stuff he wants, but he's not promising to go any further? And what if he won't answer when you ask him what he does for "companionship" when he's in Texas?
Customer: he probably calls his ex girlfriend if they still talk
Customer: I still don't understand why he just didn't tell me all he wanted was sex, if he would have did that all of this would never have happened, I would move so I could spend time with him if I knew he wanted more than just a sexual relationship with me