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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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She told me she doesnt need me to reassure her, asking me

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She told me she doesn't need me to reassure her, asking me questions about what would I do If she told me everything I am giving and have done with her is not enough for her, since I should've done that from the beginning even after revealing the lie she feels now its just a matter of convenience for me and that I am still on probation in our relationship. Is she trying to push me away no kiss after dropping of her kids. I can see all her faults I am ok with them. my Gut feeling once again telling me shes wanting to pursue or give other men a chance I dont know. Her cable was turned off no internet connecting does she feel less because I can see her faults and all. We just spent 2 weeks of nights and weekends spending the day with each others children. Her children asking me to take them to the park because she was busy. Cooked her dinner and bought her a few groceries after she said it was ok does she need reassurance again that she is the love of my life..My mind is going nuts and I think I doit to myself..Her sons Birthday is XXXXX up in a couple days, shes graduating, weve made plans already.She told me If I had an issue filling the fatherly role to her two kids I said no I dont have an issue now she needs space? does it mean no contact or just simply specifically what she stated that she doesn't want me to come over to her house / sleep over for a while after 2 weeks of everything being perfect? We had everything smooth again after weeks of hard work of me trying to mend the relationship I was successful started staying over every night, dinner plans, and family interacting. Last Night after a great conversation she brought up the same old feelings about me lying to her about the mother of my child living with me, She stated that she wants to be the number one priority and if I really did love her why did I not do the same thing of staying over every night. I told her that it was because I did not want to come off as pushy or overbearing even though now I know that's what she wanted. Shes wanted space before in the relationship usually last about a few hours but I am always the one initiating the contact via text or just through bumping into each other. Iam so drained with her so up and down I tell her shes worth the fight if I had to do everything all over again I would, but really dont feel like I have the motivation to do it feel strung along being tested to prove my love or I dont know I love a challenge but literally always feels like I'm being slapped in the face Shes always talking about marriage, cousins getting married, plans of marriage, dream Weeding, her morning wake up alarm is weeding bells. She told me all of a sudden out of nowhere that she doesn't want me to come over anymore for a while and she needed space. I have a great relationship with her children they invite me to their soccer practice and games so now I'm confused do I go, do I text her, Do I call her..etc she makes things so difficult everything was perfect up untill last night. She told me no multiple times telling me stop asking the same questions when I stop she says why and ask me what I was thinking about in that moment to make me forget about her and not care in that moment. I dont know what to do I love her she loves me. I dont want to push but yet feel like texting her random hey great day and what not like I always end up doing anyways. Give it a day no contact, couple days...her kids love me what do I do with that also. We literally act like we are married planning trips graduation plans errands..etc it feels so effortless organic fit together we are happy always smiling. All this occurred recently and then Our kids meet again had a great time, had dinner and I ended up asking her to spend the night with her she agreed we cuddled no sex and in the morning everything felt perfect again, but yet I still feel distant not affectionate shes not giving me any type of signal I am taking charge but yet feel shes not giving me anything back distance is what I am beginning to feel sometimes gut stomach feeling of something is not quite right in our relationship.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.
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Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
1812 Satisfied Customers
I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.