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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1147
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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I go to this local diner, Im a "regular" there, though I see

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I go to this local diner, I'm a "regular" there, though I see a lot of familiar faces I don't know most of the waitresses' names because I usually get the same one and I'm generally quiet. This waitress came up to me out of the blue and just started having a conversation with me right then and there. I had seen her before and I'm sure she has seen me come in and out but I never had her as a waitress before. Problem was, I was so hungry that particular day I was distracted and wasn't really thinking about conversation. It probably showed through and she didn't come up to me ever again after that. Question is, are people (or in this case, girls) just likely to come up to somebody like that, and did I blow it by not being friendly enough the first time?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Hi,

Some women are outgoing and can come up to a familiar face to start a conversation especially waitresses since some tend to be friendly and talkative by nature of their job. It may just be coincidental why she hasn't come up to you again and have nothing to do with the way you were that day. First impressions do count. However, it makes a difference since she just started talking out of the blue and its not like it was a planned date or something of that sort. You had the right to be taken back and the way you behaved may have not necessarily been taken as unfriendly, but more uncomfortable as well as someone that may not be so outgoing. This is not necessarily a bad thing since some people just do not talk a lot to strangers and this is not strange at all. Nothing was expected of you and the fact you even listened showed you was not rude. I would not worry. However, if you are interested in her or just want to show her that you are friendly I would smile and say hi to her the next time you see her. People will create opinions of us sometimes completely different than what we think, so she may not even be thinking anything bad at all, but if you send her a hi and a smile it will be sure to "clear the air" and put you both on the same page and at the very least take your concern away.

I wish you well and please let me know if I can be of further help.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I'm not very friendly to begin with, but through a lot of (ongoing) work I've at least been able to maintain a conversation and smiles if someone else first approaches me for conversation. I'll talk to anyone anytime if they come up to me, and I'll be friendly and "normal." A friend the other day said it's clear she "likes" me and that if I like her (yes) I should definitely take the initiative to talk to her next time I'm there. She did a double-take the other day when I walked in and she saw me. What do u think the chances are she's just being friendly or instead "likes" me like my friend said?


 


I like to have a little idea of these things before I make a move.


Thanks.


 

Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.
Hi,

Sure, I can understand why you would like to have a hint before anything. There is a good chance she may like you. If you see she may not be talking to everyone and she just came up to you or she came up to you and spoke in a manner that was a little different than she does with others. She also took a double take to look at you. This means she noticed you and was confirming. Your friend may be absolutely right. Its hard for me to say without seeing the situation, but based on what you explained I think you have a good chance. If your not sure then I would just start with hi and a smile anyway because you will see if her reaction is inviting before you make any bigger moves.
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1147
Experience: I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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Jen Helant
Jen Helant
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I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.