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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Im a 36 year old woman (never married) and have been in a

Customer Question

I'm a 36 year old woman (never married) and have been in a relationship with a 42 year old man (divorced twice) for over two years. Throughout our relationship we have had our share of arguments; however I was always given the silent treatment whenever we had disagreements. The silent treatment could be anywhere from a day or a few months. About six months ago he proposed to me and promised me that he would never give me the silent treatment again and that he would make it up to me for all the times he did that to me in the past. Well the last few weeks we have been having frequent disagreements so last week I told him that I needed some time to think since we were about to argue. I sent him a text message just three days later telling him that I thought we should spend some time together. I got a response through a text message telling me that we were done! I immediately called him to get an explanation and he stated that I didn't love him and that I brought this on myself because I wanted space. I pleaded with him to just hear me put but he hung up on me and has once again given me the silent treatment. I have done everything to tell him how much I love him and have left numerous messages. What am I to think??? Is this just a test or does this man have zero respect and no love for me?? I need someone to help me make sense of this. I can't stop crying and I feel so confused and degraded.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you.

This man is a very manipulative and controlling man, who uses this method of silent treatment to be able to bend you to his will. It is a most cruel behavior.

It is very possible that this man has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. These people are very controlling, have absolutely no empathy or care for the feelings of others. They are not capable of having empathy. THey are sociopaths.

They get enjoyment from dominating others and usually blame the other person and make themselves the victim, or claim that they are.

He has you exactly where he wants you, and when you are sufficiently crushed he may "take you back".

You may consider breaking up with him and moving on with your life. You are a young woman.

Let me suggest two books that might give you a lot of insight.


Product Details

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor Payson

 

and

 

Product Details

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy LCSW JD and Randi Kreger


I do not believe that the nature of this relationship will ever change. You must decide if it is worth keeping or making the painful move of breaking it off.

 

I believe that in the long run you can be must happier without him.

 

I will keep you in my prayers.

 

Warm regards,

 

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

 

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Brenda,

Thank you. May God bless you and give you strength.

Elliott

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