I am constantly fighting with my boyfriend and it now involves yelling and bad things said to each other.Our feelings for each other are suffering, but some still remain and we still want to work things out. How and what can I change to make it work?
Edit: Some info to add to hopefully help a little...
I am 24, he is 20 , We have been together 5 months
The constant problems and fights bring me like a deja vu, because I always seem to have problems and fights whenever I'm in a relationship and this one is heading down that same downhill path :(
Thank you so much for answering and yes I am sorry for not giving more specific information, I didn't know how much info to give starting off !
In the beginning, I found out he lied to me about very stupid things, for example, he claimed he was going to school everyday, but reality was that he owed class fees and wasn't even able to register. He confessed the truth after he came to visit me for the first time ( we are long distance relationship)
Also, in the beginning, I would yell at him for small things like not answering my calls, not being able to call me often, putting me aside to do something for his family ( he still lives at home)
He apologized for the lying and said he would be honest to me and has been so far. He also has told me that he felt ashamed and a little scared of my reactions and of losing me if he told me the truth about not being in school.
After the lying, I have been very untrusting. I was suspicious of a girl he would hang around with and I caused many fights over this. He would get very upset, saying that I still don't trust him even though he's been honest and that he's trying to please me but I never see happy with what he does. I asked him to spend less time around her and he has finally agreed to it.
I have past issues with my ex boyfriends about lying, cheating, and anger. I know I bring that baggage with me, but I don't know what to do. I get suspicious, scared, worried that he's lying, even though I haven't found any solid proof yet, and I have gone looking through his facebook, e-mail, etc. It's made me feel crazy.
I must say that I, unfortunately, have heard similar things to what you are advising me on ! lol But honestly, I appreciate the way you told me and explained things to me. It was very helpful and I think I can see myself capable of doing the things you explained. For awhile I wasn't sure if me and my boyfriend would work out. I still knew that, even if we didn't work out, I wanted to be able to change for myself and for whatever future boyfriend I would have. Thank you very much Dr. Paige for advising me and you deserve more than what I am paying you for this help. I appreciate it very much and hopefully if I have another question in the future, I can hopefully have you to answer it !
Thank you and I will keep you posted. Will a follow up require another payment? because at the moment I dont have an extra 15, but in a week or so I will most likely have $15! I will start on all your advice immediately and hope to see progress soon :)