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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Meet this guy online and wants a potential relationship just

Resolved Question:

Meet this guy online and wants a potential relationship just meet him yesterday. I asked what his hort goals within the next 5 years and he said be happy and make money then he askw aht do I want between us in 5 years. Is he beating around the bush or just does not know what he wants in his life.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Deardebra :

I would say his main goal is to be happy and find something that makes good money so that he can live comfortable.

Deardebra :

He asked you the same question in return to see what you wanted in life so he can get to know you. He knew when you asked the question that you were very serious about that question

Deardebra :

so he wanted to see what was your answer so that he could understand what you wanted in life.

Deardebra :

I think it was good that he answered you that quickly and did not think about the answer, he knew what he wanted in life and that is a good thing.

Deardebra :

I do not feel he was beating around the bush at all I feel he knows what he wants in life.

Deardebra :

It was good you asked that question because it is good to see if you both want the same things in life.

Deardebra :

It is clear the first thing he said was happiness so that is the most important too him, so he know that being happy is more impotent than anything.

Deardebra :

Next is money because he feels he needs to be stable in life and be able to take care of himself.

Deardebra :

So he wants to be happy and live a comfortable life.

Deardebra :

I feel he would be looking for someone with the same interests.

Deardebra :

Someone that has goals and wants to strive in life to accomplish things they set out to do.

Customer:

well I had to talk to him yesterday becuase he seems to take a interest in me andmy daughter in which he has an issue with babysitters because his son was molested. He does not trust anyone as he put it and wants me to beingher along on our first meet and greet

Customer:

He says he understand and does not want to interfere but feels later in the relationship he would have to be apart of her life by being involved

Customer:

he even mention his cousin watching her butr he has a vulgar mouth and says trust me if you get with me you have double f888cking protection

Customer:

He curse abotu his jib cause he is not happy as well

Customer:

he asked do i have a problem with him being protective to let him know so I find someone else

Customer:

I told him as a mother it my job to protect her and I dont know him so bringing he is not good for me

Customer:

just being a little causios about him

Customer:

I told him I think it will not work and he called and asked why so I explained

Customer:

he asked do I want him in my life and my daughter life. I said yes but only if you allow me to make myt own discision involving her and step in when I need u too

Customer:

any thoughts?

Customer:

should I follow my intution on this?

Deardebra :

Over protective could also mean possessive.

Deardebra :

He wants to meet your daughter which he wants to get to know her, but you need to get to know him first.

Deardebra :

I think it is important to see if you like him before you introduce your daughter too him.

Deardebra :

You need to see if there is a connected there.

Customer:

ok..so it would best if i get a baby sitter..if idont like his response i may just block his number next time

Customer:

he kind of reminds me of ex the one who gave me herpes

Customer:

i told my life is peaceful and i dont want any drama

Deardebra :

I would get a babysitter and explain why too him.

Customer:

ok

Deardebra :

He sounds like someone that would be very controlling.

Deardebra :

Protection is a form of control in a relationship.

Customer:

ok..should i stay clear and follow my first mind

Deardebra :

Yes, he seem a little to demanding I think you would have a problem with him. One thing you could do is get to know him a little better by talking with him before you meet. get to know him.

Customer:

i probably need to take a break from online dating for awhile

Customer:

I was about telling i need to find a babysitter and push the date back

Deardebra :

That's a good Idea you do not want him to control the date you want to be comfortable with going out.

Customer:

should i take a break from online datin

Deardebra :

No, I wouldn't

Deardebra :

I think you will find the right person for you, online dating is very popular and people do find the right person for them.

Deardebra :

I am pretty sure that the figures are 1 out of 5 people meet online now. So times have changed and it is a good positive thing.

Deardebra :

It help in finding the right one because you can post your interests and found out who is the best match.

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1825
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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