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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5430
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Was with my ex girl for 7 month we got on great but one day

Customer Question

Was with my ex girl for 7 month we got on great but one day when she was out shopping she met an ex of hers that she met up with only 4 times about a year and half ago but she is a great believer in everything happens for a reason so when he started texting her on face book she broke up with me to go with him now I want her back cos we were so good for each other and I've been told she misses me and thinks about me all the time but she won't even talk to me I need help on how to get her to talk and get her back thanks
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

If your girlfriend left just based on the face that her and her ex saw each other by accident, then it doesn't sound like there is a good basis for the relationship to last. There was a reason she broke up with him in the first place and unless that reason is resolved and both people change enough to make the relationship work, it is highly likely it will not last.

But for now, it may be that the relationship is new and that is why she is isolating herself. Yet it sounds like she is still thinking of you and cares about you. That shows that she has not given up even if for now she is not willing to talk.

In order to get her back, it might be helpful if you listen to her and back off some. Not all the way, but try to not contact her directly for a while. However, that does not mean you stop trying. If you have the same friends, try communicating through them. Let your friends know you still care and hope she is ok. Let them pass the messages along if they want to, just like you are hearing about her now. Also, wait a few weeks then send her a short, but very sweet text. You can also send her a card or another small token of your affection. You don't want to make her current boyfriend upset, but something friendly and that conveys you care would not hurt. And it keeps her thinking of you.

If after a few months she does not show signs of letting go of her current relationship, try going out with others. She may hear about it and if she wants to be with you, it may spur her to act. Sometimes that accomplishes more than anything else you can try.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5430
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It's her 40th birthday next Friday I got her all the things she loves 6 big pink helium balloons champagne chocolates gold chain flowers and tickets to see Rihanna I've got a company to deliver them all to her house now cos she won't talk or want me to go to her house do you think this is a good idea or should I cancel them I bought them all before we broke up :(
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
If you do not mind her not thanking you or responding to your gifts, you can go ahead and give them to her. But if you are looking for some type of response from her, then you may want to cancel them and wait until you can talk to her again. I know that is not ideal and it hurts to do that, but it's better if she is more open to receiving the gifts. If she is not, it could make her run away more and that is not what you want to have happen,

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She knows I've got them thats why I was wondering what will the think if they don't turn up ?
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
If she is not with you and (at this point) has no intention of being with you, then you have no obligation to do anything for her. It is unfair of her to expect anything, even if she knows about the gifts, if she is with someone else and will not talk to you. Giving her these things lets her have her cake and eat it too, to use a phrase. But if you hold back, she may realize what she is missing.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I understand just cos she loves it when I buy her gifts and thought it might remind her of all the nice things I get for her I miss her so much
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
At this point, it may but if she won't respond to your gift and you are ok with that, then go ahead. It depends on what response you are ok with.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
At this stage I'm not looking for response just trying to get her thinking of me as much as possible what do you think best way to get her back in my arms?
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We don't have mutual friends I found that out from a one off conversation with her brother
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As I say it was a one off I don't have his number the only way I can talk to her it text or phone call and at the minute she won't answer me and when she dose it's as if she trying to hurt me which I don't understand as we never had any fall out in 7 month she so still has my stuff and key to my house which she was going to drop off five weeks ago but hasn't
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Is there someone els I can talk to as you haven't been much help to me
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry you were so unhappy with my service. I will opt out and let another expert address your question.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok will they get I touch with me?
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Your question has been put out for any expert to answer. Please do not respond to me after this point since it will remove your question from the queue.

Kate

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