The second it to find a therapist who can just help you to find your ultimate choice and stick to it.
A therapist of great wisdom and experience, particularly with an existential orientation, if you can find such a therapist, would be idea.
You must make the decision for yourself and stick to it, and if you need outside help to do that, then I urge you to get it.
You might search on www.psychologytoday.com
I wish you great strength and resolve in seeing this through. I shall keep you in my prayers to that end.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
This is such generic feedback... :/ I mentioned how I dislike counsellors and they didn't seem to work; why would you then recommend another counsellor?