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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5431
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Im almost done with my freshman year of college and ive made

Resolved Question:

Im almost done with my freshman year of college and ive made many new friends. Through these friends, i have recently meet a girl who seems to have the sense of humor that i really like and she just seems like a really cool girl. She isn't a party-er and neither am i, so that works out great. She seems to have the values that i admire in girls and i would really like to get to know her. The only problem is that this is kinda an awkward time in the year because its so close to school being out for summer. On a positive note, i was selected to be a New Student Orientation Leader next year for all of the incoming freshmen and she was also selected to be one as well. I know that i will get to know her better next year through that, but I don't want to weird her out this summer by trying to hard to communicate to her through twitter or Facebook. I'm not sure what to do.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

There is nothing wrong with communicating with her through Facebook and occasionally Twitter during the summer. You already know her- you have talked with her through Twitter and you have something in common through school. That is enough to begin a friendship, at least.

It might help you to see your communication with her as a friendship, at least for now. If you start off wanting a closer relationship, it makes it harder to not to cross over boundaries and make the situation uncomfortable. But if you view her as a potential friend, that makes it easier to be comfortable and to be appropriate with her. And if there is more to the relationship, it will become obvious as you get to know each other.

Try to connect with her on Facebook and comment maybe once a week or every other week. You can also contact her via text or Twitter just to say hi, ask her how her summer is going and generally touch base. Try not to push anything more than friendly superficial conversation unless she brings something deeper up. Ask her about her favorite things, her family or something she would not mind everyone knowing. And use humor to help keep things lighter. Then when fall gets closer, maybe talk to her about the new student orientation leader positions you both have, so you can be sure to connect with something you have in common.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

That sounds like a really good plan! My only concern is creeping her out by messaging her on Facebook. I wouldn't want her to think "I've only talked to this guy once, why does he keep trying to talk to me?" The last time i have facebook chatted her was about a week ago and it was a really short conversation. I didn't think it went well, but my friends said at least she responded instead of ignoring me

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Yes, it is good she responded to you. She could have just ignored your message. If you are still able to see her at school, you might want to ask her if it is ok to stay in touch over summer break. That way, you give her a heads up and get an answer for yourself at the same time. If she says no, then make a point to tell her you'll see her next semester. That would be disappointing, but being respectful shows her you care, which is always good.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Today was our last final exam unfortunately. So I don't think i will be able to see her at all before next year. Should i just go on with your suggestion then and messaged her at a later time?

Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Yes, that would be the next step if you cannot see her anymore in person.

Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5431
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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